Dennis’s Daily Diary of Destruction – 11/8/07

I’m not sure if this will really be a “daily” diary or not, but if the past is an indicator, it will be — for a while, at least.

So at this point, Dennis is locked out of the bedrooms and bathroom when we’re gone, but this still leaves him the kitchen, hallway, living room, and dining room to play in. (These modern houses, they don’t have doors. Or interior walls.) There’s still plenty of stuff to wreck in these rooms, for instance:

  • One of the panels in a set of fabric vertical blinds, surgically removed and chewed. Unfortunately it’s not possible to get individual panels from the manufacturer (why would they sell you those when they could sell you a whole new vertical blind set instead?), so the poor, bedraggled thing has been returned to its position, where it stands out like a hoodlum in a lineup of businessmen.
  • An orchid. Not a good one, according to my wife the orchid grower. Fortunately he hasn’t found where we keep “Audrey II” yet.
  • The charging base for a hand-vac. Having spread orchid dirt all around, Dennis doesn’t want us spoiling his handiwork by vacuuming it up.
  • A set of wooden coasters. Dogs don’t need coasters! They drink out of bowls!
  • A lint brush, because clothes look better with dog hair all over them.

Mind you, this is after my wife plugged in some $40 gadget she got at Target that’s supposed to calm dogs with pheromones and “floral essences”. This has no apparent effect on Dennis. Tomorrow we’ll probably find that he pulled it out of the socket and chewed it to pieces; or maybe it will kick in and he’ll be sitting on the floor looking stoned. Bets, anyone?

One thought on “Dennis’s Daily Diary of Destruction – 11/8/07

  1. Dennis sounds like one of my dogs. I want to add one more thing to the list. If I accidently leave the bedroom door open, they will immediately run under the bed and poop!


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