Authorities today confirmed the discovery of a disemboweled Canada goose toy underneath the bed. The goose’s rear end had been torn off and its honk bladder and hose removed. When found, the goose was in the possession of Tucker the vizsla, who was desperately trying to make it honk like it used to. A source, speaking on condition of anonymity, said that while Tucker was carrying the mutilated goose, he is believed to have found it in that condition and is not a suspect.
A “vizsla of interest” has been identified in the crime, but so far no charges have been filed. It is believed that this vizsla, who goes by the name “Dennis”, may also be involved in the mutilation deaths of several other toys. Individuals with any information about these killings is encouraged to contact the toy police. Authorities have released this picture of “Dennis”:
Do not attempt to apprehend “Dennis” yourself, as he is considered armed and extremely cuddly.
As for the disemboweled goose, it is going to be stuffed with pretend onions, garlic, and potatoes, baked in a pretend oven, and served as pretend Christmas dinner.