Dennis’s Diary of Destruction – 11/11/07

So yesterday when we went to visit our Swedish friends, who are moving back to Sweden (*SNIFF*), my wife gave Dennis a few drops of “passionflower”, which is supposed to calm him. I would expect something called “passionflower” to have the opposite effect on an unneutered male dog (he’ll be getting fixed next month), but when we got home after being gone most of the day, he hadn’t destroyed anything. I was worried that I wouldn’t have anything else to write about. Fortunately, she forgot to give him his passionflower today when we went grocery shopping, and here’s what we found on the floor that shouldn’t have been there:

  • Three small pumpkins left over from Halloween. Was Dennis trying to learn to juggle? Was he acting out a scene from The Legend of Sleepy Hollow? Was he planning to carve frightening shapes on them, like the vacuum cleaner or the lawn mower? Has he been reading my short story “You“? Unknown.
  • A candle. Perhaps Dennis was planning to light it up and have a little romantic interlude with his step-sister Trixie. Luckily for him, we came home and interrupted his little soiree before Trixie broke all four of his legs and sat on him.
  • A coffee scoop. Fortunately he didn’t pull down the coffee itself or the coffee maker. Dennis on caffeine would be scary. Not being able to make coffee tomorrow morning for the humans: TERRIFYING.

Things are once again accumulating in his “stash”. A picture of the “stash” will be coming soon, I swear.

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