Dennis’s Diary of Destruction

Dennis must have seen my earlier post lamenting my lack of things to write about, because he had a field day destroying things today, including:

• Several small pumpkins. Halloween is over, dammit! Make pies or throw them away!
• Another pair of my wife’s slippers. She says, “Yes, I left them out, but they were dirty and they smelled and I didn’t like them anyway.” But of course we can’t throw them away — we have to let the dog turn them into pink confetti. (We also can’t throw away leftovers until they start to develop their own civilizations.)
• Another orchid. Paging Nero Wolfe.
• The wooden handles of the skewers in our fondue set. Because fondue is just SO 70s.
• The cord going to the fish tank heater, because Dennis likes to see fish shiver.

By the way, that door to the left in the picture is the door to Dennis’s plastic crate. My wife has been coaxing him into it with treats and has even climbed in there herself to get him to go in. He’s taken to sleeping in it with the door open. One of these days, he’ll wake up and the door will be closed. Heh heh heh.

“I didn’t do it.”