Month: January 2008

Constipated Kitty

So we still don’t have a definite on what’s causing Trouble to have her “senior moments” where she spaces out and lets the dogs sniff her, but the vet thinks she knows why the cat is walking funny: X-rays have revealed that Trouble is a bit, um, backed up, including with what looks like a large hairball. So she’s now on medication to take care of that. The first day, the meds seemed to make her more uncomfortable–she was meowing quite a lot–but today she’s purring again and eating a bit more food, and there are a couple of hard-looking deposits in the bank, if you know what I mean. (And you do.) No hairball yet though.

Maybe the rat was stealing oatmeal so she could brew up a nice bowl to help keep the kitty regular …

It’s A Little Windy

So here in sunny California, something has been happening lately … I think it’s called “weather” and I vaguely remember it from when we lived in New York. For once, we can’t blame the destruction on Dennis. Unless ……..

Continue reading “It’s A Little Windy” →

i am not a mutt

i would just like to say that i am not a “mutt” contrary to what you may have just read. i am a cosmopolitan dog. there was a man at the vet’s office who thought i was a belgian tervuren. i’m not, but maybe my aunt sally was. i don’t believe in labels anyway. besides, dennis and tucker just look like little red weimaraners, if you ask me.

— trixie the cosmopolitan dog

“Papers? I don’t need papers to be a pretty girl.”

poor kitty

hello nice reederz its dennis the vizsla dog well trouble the kitty seemd to be getting bettr at furst but now lately shes been wandring arownd the howse like shes lost or sumthing and she still lets me lik her wich is fun but weerd and shes not eeting all that much even when theres fish heds in the food mama calld the vetnamese place agin yesterday to find owt what els they can do for trouble like asprin dosage or ennything i no their worreed dada sed sumthing like he didnt need to have this happning agin so soon but trouble is just as old as pooh bear was i gess this is whut happens wen yore animals are the same age ennyway i am just a puppy so dont worry about me ill be heer for a gud long time ok i got to go play with trixie the mutt now so bye

the rat did it

hello nice reederz its dennis the vizsla dog

something weerd iz happning to trouble the kitty last nite she wuz staggring arownd the howse like she didnt no where she wuz she had her tale down insted of strait up like normal she almost fell down a kupl of times she wuznt making a sownd and weerdest of all she let me sniff her withowt hissing or smaking me and she even let tucker the other vizsla dog lik her on the face

Continue reading “the rat did it” →

Fish Heads, Fish Heads, Roly Poly Fish Heads …

So this morning I gave Trouble her cat food (Kahoots store brand … it’s all she’ll eat these days). This particular can was fish-based, tuna I think. In case anyone was wondering if this food is made with real fish, wonder no more … the can had an entire fish head in it. Eyes included.

I should’ve taken a picture, but I was running late and quite frankly it didn’t occur to me. Besides, I’m not sure anyone really wants to see a disembodied fish head sitting on a pile of canned cat food. Some of you may read this in the morning with coffee and a croissant, after all. So you’ll just have to trust me — it was a fish head, about the size of a silver dollar, give or take, looking up at me.

The cat ate it, too.

The Bloggers of the World Medallion

4urpets passed along this nice Bloggers of the World medallion, courtesy of Colin. She and Gina were wishing they could put it in their sidebars, so since I know how to do that, I thought I’d make a little post to help them out. Anyone who already knows HTML will most likely find this post tedious; such people are encouraged to go read about Dennis’s trying to find himself a little friend instead. Or you could buy one of my books and read that. 😉

Continue reading “The Bloggers of the World Medallion” →

no pet rat :-(

hello nice reederz its dennis the vizsla dog well i gess i wont be getting a littl rat frend ennytime soon today dada found the rat in a trap on the floor in the garaj it was the trap from one of the beems in the seeling where pooh bear used to walk now the rat was using them to get arownd like an elevatd sidewawk its pretty neet to be able to wawk in the rafters ill have to see if i can get up there sumtime ennyway dada put the rat in the trash he didnt even let me lik it a littl bit oh well maybe next time ill find the rat on the floor before dada duz i just hav to be kwiker than him ok thats it for now bye bye

Dennis’s Diary of Destruction

So it’s been a while since I posted any actual destruction here on Dennis’s Diary of Destruction … now that he’s crated while we’re gone, his opportunities for mischief are greatly reduced. Still, this week he managed to chew up a couple of things:

  • A copy of Tastes of Italia, because any magazine with that many great Italian recipes in it must taste pretty good itself. (He’s actually still trying to steal that issue off the desk as I type this.)
  • A pen. He was probably planning to write a letter to The Honest Kitchen apologizing for the “Green … Stuff” post.
  • My wife’s slippers. Now, this is nothing unusual for Dennis, but these particular slippers are ones that she lost a while ago. I just found them yesterday under the bed, while I was flipping the mattress. I retrieved them, washed them, and put them on my wife’s feet still (warm from the dryer) while she was snoozing on the remains of the chaise lounge. The very next morning, Dennis chewed them up.

Green … Stuff

No, nobody threw up into a bowl … we started giving our animals alternative foods after all that melamine nonsense broke last year, and this is a dehydrated raw food that my wife sometimes feeds our dogs. I affectionately refer to it as “green stuff” (only I don’t say “stuff”). Doesn’t it look yummmmmmy? (The little pill is a fatty acid gel-cap for Dennis’s coat.)

My wife would like to state for the record that “green stuff” contains 100% human food grade turkey, organic flaxseed, potatoes, celery, spinach, carrots, coconut, apples, kelp (human-grade kelp???), eggs, sesame seeds, bananas, cranberries, rosemary, vitamins, and minerals, and the dogs just love it.

By the way, the state of Ohio evidently believes its citizens are too stupid to realize that “green stuff” is dog food, as if seeing “human food grade” on the label would make you think it’s a new kind of hot cereal or something. You probably could eat it, actually; but would you?

“Please, sir, I want some more green stuff.” — Oliver Twist, if he lived in Ohio