dadas offis is booooooooring

hello nice reederz its dennis the vizsla dog

as yoo no i am now being kepd in a krate when mama and dada arnt home evn tho ive askd nice reederz for help and tried to sell the krate and my brudder but nobody bawt either wun ennyway most days mama comes home at lunch time and lets me owt of the krate to play fetch and do sum stuf owt in the yard well today mama had to go to sandy eggo and dada had too much work to do to come home and let me owt so he took me with him to his job and let me tel yoo the krate is mor intresting than dadas offis at leest in the krate i can watch tucker and trixie at dadas offis ther arnt even enny other peeple let alone other dogs theres not evn ennything good in there garbage pails just papers and more papers

dada brot my kong and my nylabone and my new ajility dog bed with him and he thru the kong for me wunce in a wile and he got on the floor and playd with me a kuple times and he tuk me owtside to go potty but i nevr did i was watching the truks and lisning to the stranj sownds dada wurks in a very noizy area i thawt compooter peeple wer kept lokt in basements but not him i gess

ennyway mama came bak from sandy eggo in the afternoon and pikt me up i was so glad to see her i jumpt up and down and made a spectakl of myself out on the sidewawk but whats the yoos of beeing a vizsla dog if you cant make a fuss ovr mama

on the way home mama tuk me to the tmobile stor wich i gess is ware they sell glowy things peepel put in there eers but the peepel werking there wer rood so she left next time ill pee on them then we went home

wel that wuz my day boy having to go to werk is hard i shoor am glad im a vizsla dog and not a person with a job i just get by on beeing so kewt maybe dada shood try that sum time but we dont want to starv ha ha ok bye

twitch

hello nice reederz its dennis the vizsla dog

i think i menshund wunse that my brudder tucker had sumthing rong with him he duznt hav much enerjy and after he plays for a littel wile he gets tired and then he starts twitching all over sumtimes he almost falls down they thawt the thyroyd medisin wood help but it reely hasnt so they tested him for other things i cant pronowns like addisons diseez but he didnt hav that now their testing him for sumthing calld my … myas … myasthenia gravis witch is an “awto-immyoon disordr” that sumtimes affects your thyroyd mama is very worreed abowt him becuz he seems to be getting worse she sed she mite take him to a nooroljist witch i gess is like the man in the wite coat at the noodel place only more expensiv

ennyway i am a littel bit worreed that sinse i came heer evry singul wun of my new brudders and sisters has gotten sick eksept for trixie and wun of them even went away im starting to think this place is bad luck or sumthing and oooooooh mama has green tripe for me gotta go bye!!!!!!

Rubber Baby Buggy Bumpers

So Dennis has continued his habit of falling out of bed in the middle of the night.  Because the bed is fairly high, and because he’s usually on the side that’s closest to the wall (my side), causing him to secondarily bang into the wall after hitting the floor, we decided to set up a landing pad so he can perform his stunt without hurting himself.  Now, the route to my side of the bed consists of a layer of pillows followed by a layer of blankets, with an additional layer of pillows along the wall.

How does it work?  No idea.  Since we set this up, Dennis hasn’t taken a tumble.  However, both he and Trixie have taken to sleeping in Pillow Alley, which means that if I get up in the middle of the night, I kind of have to shimmy off the foot of the bed in order to avoid possibly stepping on a snoozing pup.

Ah, the things we do for our pets …

The Name’s Bond. Dennis Bond.

Diane: “Oh, Sam, this may be a silly question. But you don’t have a velvet smoking jacket, do you?”
Sam: “Hey, come on. I’m smoking in any jacket.”

So Dennis has been taking agility classes on Wednesday evenings. The classes are at 8pm and it gets chilly in the evening out there in the wilds of California, so my wife decided Dennis needed a coat. (Quote: “He does need a coat. Even his instructor said so!”) But not just any coat would do, not for a sophisticated boy like Dennis. After scouring the Internet, she decided on a Polartec jacket manufactured by Obtrack, and sold in the U.S. by a company called Clean Run. After a few shipping incidents (California is not in Virginia … who knew?), the jacket finally arrived, and it fits Dennis like a glove. It should–the coat comes in 27 sizes and you have to measure your dog in various ways to determine the correct size. Now Dennis is stylin’ in his new threads.

Continue reading “The Name’s Bond. Dennis Bond.”

i want wun of these

hello nice reederz its dennis the vizsla dog i want a rat like this one this is feathers she was mama and dadas pet rat before they got the kitties then the rat had to go liv with grammy and grampy becuz the cats wood eet her well maybe pooh bear wood eet her trouble couldnt be botherd catching a rat unless it came in a can ennyway i gess rats dont liv very long and evrywun was very sad when feathers went away and thats why grammy and grampy never got another wun but maybe sumday i can have wun as long as mama and dada dont find out ok bye

“What?”

“I hate this show. Put on PBS.”

“Bungee!”

Feathers the Rat, 1991 – 1993

No Corn, Except For The Corn

So my wife (used to) feed the dogs Canidae canned food, which is supposed to have all sorts of high-quality ingredients. Corn isn’t one of them. So what’s this big, hard, uncooked kernel of corn doing in there?

Photobucket

Continue reading “No Corn, Except For The Corn”

Dennis vs. Fiesta Island: The Return

So we took Dennis, Tucker, and Trixie back to Fiesta Island today, for the first time since the “oh my God you’re trying to dump me” incident in November. This time, Dennis did not take off running for the parking lot. Instead he went exploring up and down the beach with Trixie, greeted other dogs, and got up a good game of chase with Tucker.

Tucker recently began taking thyroid medication, because he had become quite lethargic over the last six to eight months, sleeping even more than dogs usually sleep (like, 23 hours a day instead of 20). We had sort of resigned ourselves that he was moving into old age, but then I noticed he had begun having muscle tremors or spasms across his entire body. This was the key symptom that got us onto Google, which led us to suspect his thyroid. Testing confirmed that his thyroid levels were low. The medicine, Soloxine, has improved his energy level, but the dosage is still being adjusted and so he doesn’t yet have the steam to cover the entire island like he used to. We’re hopeful that someday we’ll make it all the way around the island without having to carry Tucker back to the car. Still, he managed to outmaneuver Dennis pretty thoroughly before he got tired.

“You may be younger, but I’m still faster.”

I BURIED THAT FOR A REASON

HELLO HUMAN SERVANTS THIS IS TROUBLE THE CAT.

I WOULD LIKE TO ASK YOU TO TELL DADDY TO STOP POKING AROUND IN MY LITTER BOX. I AM FINE NOW AND I AM TIRED OF HAVING TO RE-BURY EVERYTHING I PUT IN THERE. I DON’T GO AND TAKE STUFF OUT OF THE GARBAGE CAN AND SPREAD IT AROUND (THAT’S THE DOG’S JOB) SO WHY DO I HAVE TO PUT UP WITH THIS SORT OF THING? I MEAN, REALLY.

SORRY FOR SHOUTING BUT I KNOW HUMANS NEED TO HAVE THINGS EXPLAINED TO THEM VERY CLEARLY.

OH, ALSO, TELL DADDY: MORE FISH HEADS, PLEASE. PURR PURR PURR.

— TROUBLE