HELLO HUMAN SERVANTS. THIS IS TROUBLE THE CAT. I HAVE BEEN FEELING MUCH BETTER AFTER MY PROBLEM EARLIER THIS YEAR. THANK YOU ALL FOR YOUR KIND COMMENTS AND CONCERN. IT IS ONLY WHAT I DESERVE AS A SUPERIOR CAT BEING. PURR PURR PURR.
HOWEVER.
TODAY I SUFFERED THE INDIGNITY OF BEING STUFFED INTO A PLASTIC CRATE, HAULED OFF TO THE VET, POKED, PRODDED, AND DRUGGED. WHEN I WOKE UP, THREE OF MY TEETH WERE GONE. GRANTED, THOSE TEETH HURT WHEN I CHEWED AND ONE OF THEM WAS CRACKED, BUT THEY ARE MY TEETH AND YOU CAN’T HAVE THEM. I WANT THEM BACK.
TO MAKE MATTERS WORSE, SOMEONE TOOK PICTURES OF MY MOUTH WHILE I WAS UNCONSCIOUS! IS THIS SOME SORT OF SICK JOKE? WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE? JUST BECAUSE I AM A BIG CELEBRITY NOW DOES NOT MEAN I WILL TOLERATE BEING TREATED LIKE BRITNEY SPEARS. PURR PURR PURR.
I AM PRETTY SURE THAT DENNIS IS RESPONSIBLE FOR THIS SOMEHOW. HE WILL PAY. OH YES, HE WILL PAY.
MEOW.
— TROUBLE
dear dear trouble. you need to shift your paradigm. you THINK teeth are important because of your dada’s book, but in reality, they’re just teeth. it is actually your ATTITUDE that gets affection and publicity. try channeling a softer you, and if that doesn’t work….wear pastels.
sincerely, cody bear’s cat, spree
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Trouble,
I couldn’t say it better than Cody Bear. Don’t feel bad about your teeth. Jonesy has two loose ones in the front, and I am sure that one day he will be toothless too (If that makes you feel better).
I have to agree with you about Dennis somehow being responsible. He does like to stir up trouble (pun intended).
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You know us humans Trouble. We’re like that. Mandy hasn’t had teeth on one side of her mouth for years and likes it because it makes room for her tongue to stick out.
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Sorry about the tooth loss but it looks like Mom & Dad are at least caring enough to get you to a vet. Some kittys are not nearly as lucky as you and never go to the vet even when they are very, very, very sick. You’re a special kitty to have such good parents who provide such fantastic health services like the Kitty ICU!
Ok, maybe the plain plastic crate was a bit much. Possibly mom & dad could decorate it really nice for you? Give it some “bling” so the vet knows they are dealing with a real celebrity when you arrive.
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Poor Trouble! It is a shock to wake up and find some gaps in your bite. But to be fair to Dennis, I can assure you he had nothing to do with it. The Aged and the Tortie both had teeth yanked at the v-e-t’s and, well, no dogs here. It’s all the work of the v-e-t-s. You know how diabolical they can be.
The Aged’s Asst.
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PS Very glad to hear you’re feeling much better!
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