As some of you may know, Gary Gygax, the co-creator of Dungeons & Dragons, died last month. It will probably not surprise anyone to learn that I was a big D&D geek back in the day. Anyway, I recently came across some “celebrity character sheets” that had been created as a tribute to Gary Gygax; unfortunately I found them kind of sucky. To rectify this situation, I thought I would create some sheets for the denizens of Dennis’s Diary of Destruction, in honor of the man responsible for my spending so many sunny Saturdays in the basement killing kobolds and whatnot. Gary, these are for you!
TUCKER
16th Level Chaotic Neutral Thief
Strength: 10
Intelligence: 16
Wisdom: 8
Dexterity: 15
Constitution: 14
Charisma: 17
Comeliness: 17
Special Abilities:
99% chance to detect food left out uncovered
85% skill climbing onto tables and countertops
90% chance to steal food not being directly observed
Stuffed toys get +2 to their saving throws when within 10 feet of Tucker
Recovers 1 HP/turn when in Mama’s lap
TRIXIE
16th Level Lawful Neutral Barbarian
Strength: 14
Intelligence: 12
Wisdom: 16
Dexterity: 14
Constitution: 17
Charisma: 15
Comeliness: 16
Special Abilities:
90% chance to inspire fear through display of ferocity and big teeth
95% chance to steal toys, treats, or other desirables from other dogs when Mama is not watching
Immune to cold and water damage due to heavy fur
DENNIS
10th Level Chaotic Good Acrobat
Strength: 15
Intelligence: 17
Wisdom: 14
Dexterity: 18
Constitution: 10 (but improving)
Charisma: 18
Comeliness: 15
Special Abilities:
70% chance to catch any thrown object in mid-air
All toys coming within 10 feet of Dennis must save vs. Death or be de-stuffed and de-squeaked
Special agility coat provides AC 5 vs. edged weapons
Double damage vs. furniture and upholstery
TROUBLE
15th Level Neutral Illusionist
Strength: 6
Intelligence: 15
Wisdom: 16
Dexterity: 14
Constitution: 8
Charisma: 12
Comeliness: 16
Special Abilities:
70% ability to make self invisible when it’s time for medication
80% chance to Confuse dogs within 5 feet by hissing and waving front paws
Able to make self appear larger by poofing fur straight out
2d6 claw damage when bunny-kicking
Immune to Sleep spells due to extreme well-restedness
I went through that D&D phase with my son who is now 34 years old (yes, I look young for my age).
Those are hilarious (however you spell it)!
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Several of my mates play D&D. Your character sheets are fab. I especially like the one for “Trouble.” Very cat-like. Purr-fect!
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DENNIS, COME BY MY SIE. I HAVE SOMETHING FOR YOU. I HOPE YOU LIKE IT.
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Mom used to play Magic: The Gathering. She was excellent with Jaugernauts! and the black iris.
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