owtrajus diskriminashun

hello nice reederz its dennis the vizsla dog well yesterday i went arownd to the local food stores with sampuls of my top notch caveear stuf only to find owt they wood not even let me in to show the manager my warez becuz i am —– A DOG!!!!  this is owtrajus diskriminashun i meen luk at me i am at leest as smart as and sertinly kleener than a too-yeer-old hyooman and yet they let them in!!!!!!!  i think all us dogs need to organize a boycot of playses like ths i bet i woodnt hav this problum if i livd sumware more enlitend like the mithical country of europe …

forchunatly dada gave me a kloo on how to proseed i just borrowd his ajility trial disgize and then walla the stores thawt i wuz a person and let me in

“Don’t be silly.  If I were a dog, would I have this lovely moustache?”

but then i ran into my sekund problum wich is the managers at all the stores i went too told me that my caveear stuf isnt caveear at all they sed its just fluf from inside a dog toy i ashoord them that it came from inside a fish toy but apparintly caveear only comes from inside a reel fish and its akchooly their eggs ewwwwww sticky slimy gross fish eggs hoo wood want to eet those bleah!!!!!!  i wood eet them tho just becuz their their

ennyway now im left with all these krates of top notch caveear stuf that nobuddy wants to by wot can i do hmmmm maybe i can sel it in the mithical town of ebay i heer peepul will by ennything from that playse ok bye

p.s. to all my investors sorry i spent all yore munny on r and d but perhaps i can perswayd yoo to aksept a luvly jar of top notch caveear stuf in loo of a return on yore investment????

13 thoughts on “owtrajus diskriminashun

  1. I wish dogs were allowed in more places too Dennis. I sometimes see people take little dogs into Lowe’s but you wouldn’t fit in the ‘little’ category. I’m sure your investors will forgive you because you’re so sweet. I didn’t recognize you with you disguise. *wink*


  2. take the caviar and stick it in pillow cases, then take a pillow case and….SPARE THE BUNNY!

    remove bunny from under the wobble board. perhaps putting him there set a series of karmic events into motion and now you’re getting payback for sacrificing him to the agility machine.


  3. Dennis,

    I’m kinda glad people don’t let dogs in places. I know you wouldn’t do it, but most dogs would poop on the floor and I would probably step in it, fall down, break my leg and have to go to the doctor…and I would need a shot to keep from getting some type of bacteria infection from all that poop that squished all over me.

    Hey, Dennis. I notice that your writing got a little better. You are using paragraphs now.

    You are toooooo funny.

    Dennis says: thank yoo for notising that i hav ben spending the time in my krate trying to bettur myself by reeding buks on grammer and pun … punc … commas and stuf wunse i hav masterd all of that i mite wurk on my speling ok bye


  4. Hi Dennis! You know in England some of the dogs I talk to get to go into pubs with their moms and dads!

    Sorry to hear about the apalling lack of common decency of the store owners! Maybe you CAN sell the stuff on ebay……


  5. My dear Denni$,

    Keep at it! Success inevitably follows failure. Unless failure becomes perpetual, that is. Not that two failures in a row smacks of perpetuity. Not at all. To verge on the perpetual, I think you’d need to fail at least three times.

    So keep your chin up!

    Encouragingly yrs.,


  6. I think you look like the late Jean Drapeau in your disguise. He was the Montreal mayor famous for his statement that “the Montreal Olympics can no more have a deficit than a man can have a baby.” Unfortunately, the Big O Stadium was starting to drop ceiling girders before the City had finished paying for it… So don’t feel bad about your business failures just yet!

    Jim says: Hmm … sounds a little bit like the infamous Big Dig in Boston!


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