confidenshul offer

hello nice reederz its dennis the vizsla dog wel as yoo hav no dowt herd my caveear bizness was a total disaster however wurd of my bizness ac … acum … wurd of my mad bizness skillz seems to hav spred arownd the wurld becuz laitly i hav been reseeving wun solisitashun after anuther from peepel hoo want to giv me vencher capital i hav desided to tayk them all up on there offers soon i will be rolling in doh and not the kind that is yoozed to mayk bred mmmmmmm bred ennyway heer is the first offer i hav responded to soon i will be abel to bild my time masheen ok bye

15 Comments on “confidenshul offer

  1. Dennis, Your comments made this hilarious. Don’t fall for this Dennis…it’s a scam.
    I get these letters occasionally. Jerks.

    Dennis says: a scam yoo meen to say that sum randum person in africa doesnt want to send me seven millyun dollars???????

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  2. Your comments on the letter were too funny!

    I wonder if anyone really falls for this stuff?

    Jim says: Sadly, they do. Here’s an article from The New Yorker describing one such victim.

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  3. Dennis,

    Hey, we get those all the time but I never read them. Maybe I should

    There is no harm in responding, but I would use Tucker’s computer to do it.

    When you get your seven million, don’t forget your very best friends Jonesy, Tinky and Sissy.

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  4. Hi Dennis, Reading your comments on the letter cracked me up, I can’t see properly now ‘cos of tears in my eyes from laughing so much 🙂
    My honest advice, take the money & run. If you get asked any questions by the police just tell them you can’t make a comment ‘cos it’s confidenshul.
    What’s the worst the law can do to you if you get busted for scam involvement???
    You’re already nooterd 🙂 it can’t get much worse than that!!!!

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  5. Dear Dennis,
    Please don’t reply to this letter. There are many English-speaking people in Africa, and if it were a proper business letter, Mr. Aruna would have paid someone to translate it better. He didn’t address you by your name (let alone your species) , and he didn’t give you the names of who died in the plane crash.
    But your best clue is the first line of paragraph two. Just lift out the subordinate phrase giving his title, and you’ll read: “I, Mr. Kaita Aruna,… and I have had the intent…” Mr. Aruna thinks he is two people. He’s crazy. Don’t answer his letter.

    “Confidenshul” has two meanings. If you’re a grownup, it means “don’t spread gossip”. If you’re a child or a dog, it means “Run right now to mama and dadda and tell them all about it”. Keep it sane and keep it safe, Dennis!

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  6. My dear Denni$,

    I got email of my own on the same subject! Apparently, someone in Scotland is secretly stealing money from investment funds and wants to share it with ME. Oooh. Shall I cut you in on the deal?

    Yrs. with imminent wealth,

    Bu$ter B. Brown

    Dear Sir/Madam,

    I am David Cumming , Fund Manager, Stanadard Life Investment,the leading fund managers dedicated to delivering excellent investment results for our clients.Nevertheless, as fund manager, I handle all our investors direct capital funds and secretly extract 3.2% excess maximum return capital profit (EMRCP) per annum on of the investors Magellan capital fund. As an expert, I have made over 49.8 M pounds from the investors EMRCP and hereby looking for someone to trust who will stand as an Investor/Shareholder to receive the funds as an annual investment proceeds from Fidelity Magellan capital funds. All confirmable documents to back up the claims will be made available to you prior to your acceptance.

    Meanwhile, I have worked out the strategies and technicalities whereby the funds can be claimed in any of our 6 houses without any hitch. Our sharing ration will be 45-45 while 10% will be for expenses during the process of the transaction .If you are interested you are advised to forward me your direct phone number for discussion of this transaction in further details.

    Best Regards,

    Mr. David Cumming.
    Fund Manager
    Standard Life Investments
    1 George Street
    Edinburgh EH2 2LL
    Phone: +447031846598.

    Dennis says: do the red girls in the mithical land of scotland no abowt this???

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  10. I received an email from Richard Edmund requesting I contact them to supplies general office supplies and school books etc. All the email was written in block capitals with a few spelling mistakes. At the end of the email a telephone number was given and I checked it out on google and I saw this blog. Exact same number so perhaps a new scam is in the pipeline!!!

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  11. Here is the email contents:
    GLORIOUS CONSULTANT LTD.
    IMPORT-EXPORT-COMMERCE GENERAL
    25 CANNON STR.EC4M LONDON,
    UNITED KINGDOM.

    DEAR SIR/MADAM,

    YOUR GOOD NAME AND ADDRESS HAVE BEEN RECOMMENDED TO US AS AN AUTHORISED
    EXPORTERS OF VARIOUS ITEMS FROM YOUR COUNTRY.TO INTRODUCING OUR SELVES TO YOU,WE ARE INTERNATIONAL REPUTABLE COMMERCIAL ORGANISATION MARKETING FOREIGN SALES FACTORS,WHOLESALE DISTRIBUTORS,MANUFACTURERS REPRESENTATIVE IMPORTATION GENERAL.

    PRESENTLY WE ARE ACTIVELY ENGAGED IN SOURCING OF THE UNDER LISTED ITEMS FOR AN URGENT SUPPLY TO OUR NUMROUS CUSTOMERS AND OUR HOME GOVERNMANT, WE HAVE BEEN IN THIS LINE OF BUSINESS FOR MANY SUCCESSFUL YEARS SATISFYING OUR NUMEROUS CUSTOMERS AND GOVERNMENT WITH ALL THEIR NEEDS.OUR RECENT EXPANSION AND DESIRE TO PROMOTE TRADE AND INDUSTRY IN YOUR COUNTRY HAS OFFORDED US THE OPPORTUNITY TO CONTACT YOUR ESTEEM COMPANY FOR AN URGENT SUPPLY OF THE UNDER LISTED ITEMS

    RE;EXERCISE BOOKS,SCHOOL BARRETS,SCHOOL BAGS,DRAWING MATERIALS,T-SQUARE
    BOARD,MATHMATICAL SETS,ELECTRONICS/MANUAL BLACK BOARD,BUILDING
    MATERIALS,FIREPROOFING,MOTOR WASTE BIN,CEMENTS,PHARMACEUTICAL PRODUCTS,ULTRASOUND MECHINES,SURGICAL/DENTAL EQIPMENTS, T-SHIRTS,HOSPITAL BED SHEETS,INDUSTRIAL MACHINES,RAW FOOD ITEMS,AND
    GENERAL GOODS FROM YOUR COUNTRY.

    PLEASE IF YOU CAN SUPPLY US WITH ANY OF THE ABOVE LISTED ITEMS,DO NOT HESITATE TO INFORM US BY MAIL SO THAT WE CAN STOP FURTHER NEGOTIATIONS WITH OTHER FOREIGN COMPANIES FOR AN URGENT SUPPLY OF THE CAPTIONED ITEMS.

    LOOKING FORWARD HEARING FROM YOU.

    BEST REGARDS,

    RICHARD EDMOND.
    Tel: +447031846598.

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hello nice reeder its dennis the vizsla dog hay leev me a peemail if yoo want to!!! ok bye

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