Nose Job

THE FOLLOWING IS A PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT

Hello, stuffie friends.  My name is Blue Dog, and I am here with a cautionary tale about choosing a surgeon for your operation.

The first thing to remember is that cost alone should not be the determining factor in your selection.  You want to make sure that you are getting the best care possible, and if that means spending a little more money, you should do it.  After all, you don’t want to end up like me.

The corollary to this is that you should not be swayed by your doctor’s appearance, no matter how professional he or she seems; always ask to see references and pictures of your doctor’s previous work.  Using a hidden camera, I took this picture of my so-called surgeon, Dr. Dennis.  You will see that he looks every inch the consummate medical professional; he’s even wearing glasses.

Nevertheless, Dr. Dennis is responsible for the travesty that you see here.

Another thing you should do is ask to see the surgeon’s operating room. It should be clean and well-organized, with a minimum of clutter and no contaminants. Armed with my hidden camera, I took this picture of the room where Dr. Dennis performed my surgery. As this photograph reveals, he has left a number of his other patients scattered around in various states of disrepair.  Not only that, but he permits a cat to observe the proceedings from on top of the lamp. This is unacceptable.

Now let’s switch to an endoscopic view so you can get an idea of the extent of the internal damage that Dr. Dennis caused to the structure of my nose during his crude attempt at rhinoplasty.

As you can see, Dr. Dennis removed all the stuffing from my nose, leaving it hollow and floppy. This is not the first time Dr. Dennis has botched surgery on a toy, as I would have learned had I checked his references.  But instead, I am left with a cavity in my head that’s so large, I could hide a camera in it and take this picture of Dr. Dennis during my follow-up exam.

I hope this has been a valuable learning experience for all you stuffies out there who might be considering a visit to Dr. Dennis’s abattoir.  Beware!  You will have much more success with his colleague, Dr. Tucker, who is much gentler with his patients.

You just have to get over the fact that he likes to wear a Scandinavian schoolgirl wig …