STYLIN’

HELLO HUMAN SERVANTS, THIS IS TROUBLE THE KITTY. I HAVE HEARD THAT THERE ARE SOME UNKIND RUMORS GOING AROUND THAT I HAVE SOME SORT OF GRUDGE AGAINST BIG CLUMSY DOGS THAT STEP ON ME, BUT NOTHING COULD BE FURTHER FROM THE TRUTH. TO PROVE IT, I AM GOING TO DO SOMETHING NICE FOR MY HOUSEMATE, THE BIG CLUMSY FURRY BLACK DOG THAT STEPS ON ME (SOMETIMES CALLED “TRIXIE”).

AS YOU MAY KNOW, NOT LONG AGO, THE BIG CLUMSY FURRY BLACK DOG GAVE HERSELF A BALD SPOT BECAUSE I SPRINKLED ITCH POWDER IN HER BED — UMM, THAT IS, BECAUSE OF HER ALLERGIES. I AM A CAT, AND CATS ARE SUPERIOR (AS THEY ARE IN ALL THINGS) GROOMERS, SO I AM GOING TO GROOM MY HOUSEMATE AND MAKE HER BALD SPOT UNNOTICEABLE. OKAY, TRIXIE, JUST COME AND SIT IN THE BARBER CHAIR THAT I’VE PREPARED FOR YOU IN THE BACK YARD. PURR PURR PURR.

GOOD GIRL. NOW, HANG ON TIGHT WHILE I THROW THE HYDRAULIC LEVER TO RAISE THE CHAIR UP IN THE AIR SO I CAN HAVE A BETTER ANGLE TO WORK ON YOU.

OOPS! THAT MUST HAVE BEEN THE WRONG LEVER. I HAD NO IDEA THAT THOSE BALLOONS WERE STRONG ENOUGH TO ACTUALLY LIFT THE BARBER CHAIR OFF THE GROUND; THEY WERE JUST SUPPOSED TO MAKE THE WHOLE EXPERIENCE MORE FUN FOR THE BIG CLUMSY FURRY BLACK DOG THAT STEPS ON ME. OH WELL. EASY COME, EASY GO. PURR PURR PURR.

11 thoughts on “STYLIN’

  1. Now I is glad I has short short furs so I dont have to go to the groomer cause it looks scary. Trixie good thing you have long furs to keep you warm since those big hills have snows on them! Somebody put snows in my yard once and it wuz cold.

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  2. Gina says:

    Trouble, every time you start to do or say something bad, you purr. I don’t know why these sweet dogs haven’t caught on to you by now.
    Tuffy

    Trouble says: I THINK IT MUST BE BECAUSE THEY’RE SUCKERS. PURR PURR PURR.

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  3. Trouble! Now that you have sent them all off aren’t you going to be lonely? No one to pick on, no one to snark at?? Think about it.

    And by the way, I DON”T step on cats, so no need of you visiting me.

    Like

  4. lavenderbay says:

    Trouble, dear, I hope your chemistry is better than mine. From what I can see, when that molecular structure seeds the clouds, it’s gonna rain over your hometown for forty days and forty nights.

    Like

hello nice reeder its dennis the vizsla dog hay leev me a peemail if yoo want to!!! ok bye

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