The Adventure of the Assassinated Pillow

Hello, good readers. This is Tucker the Vizsla. Recently I have been implicated in the destruction of a pillow based on evidence that is at best circumstantial and at worst, fabricated. Unlike my so-called brother, Dennis, who blames his misfortunes on vast conspiracies and absurd enemies, I intend to clear my name by investigation and deduction because, as Mama always says, I am the smart one. Come, Trixie! The game’s afoot!

The first thing we must look at in any investigation is the crime scene. Let’s review:

Note how clean and precise the wound is. Clearly, this pillow was taken out by a single shot to the corner. There is very little stuffing scattered about, as one would expect if this were, as suggested earlier, a revenge killing. No, this was a professional execution; someone had a job to do, and did it, and escaped.

Next, we must ask who benefits from this murder. Obviously not me, as I have fallen under a cloud of suspicion, and plus now there is one less pillow for me to sleep on. No, the obvious beneficiary here is my housemate and so-called “brother” Dennis. Why, some are now questioning if he is even responsible for all the other destruction in the house (cf. the chaise lounge incident, the exploding bedding incident, the Thanksgiving incident, the Orphan Orange incident, etc.)

Now, Dennis was in his crate at the time of the pillow’s assassination, so he could not have done the deed himself. However, Dennis is a known felon who has done hard time in the bowels of the Albuquerque penal system. Is it unreasonable to believe that he may have made contacts in prison who are capable of committing the perfect pillow crime? Let’s take a look at the surveillance footage of the backyard from the day of the murder:

As you can see, the cameras have picked up something anomalous high up on the hill, under cover of the trees. Using our state of the art imaging software, let’s zoom in on that area:

And what have we here? It’s none other than Dennis’s cellmate from his imprisonment in Albuquerque, armed with a rifle and bayonet, no less! No doubt Dennis arranged for his jailhouse friend’s transportation from New Mexico to California, and paid him to shoot the pillow through the window, pinning the blame on me!

So now we see how the system has once again failed to rehabilitate a hardened criminal. Obviously, the answer is more prison time for Dennis. And I will be happy to look after his AKC fox toy while he’s back in solitary confinement.

Elementary, my dear Trixie. Elementary.

22 thoughts on “The Adventure of the Assassinated Pillow

  1. This whole thing certainly casts reasonable doubt as to whether Dennis was responsible for the chase lounge & other incidents. Perhaps 3 crates are needed and release one suspect at a time while you are away might help you narrow down the perpetrator.

    Rocket & Delilah, the free roaming vizslas


  2. Good to finally hear your take on things Tucker! Trixie looks like she is enjoying whatever you’re doing to her Tucker. I love all your ‘Dennis’ stuff but that first picture of Tucker and Trixie is priceless.


  3. Oh dear, as a former professional dog trainer, I had hoped to read your blogs and offer you advice. It would appear that Dennis is indeed a menace, he is however entertaining.

    The chaise picture cracks me up.

    My father had a German Wirehair Pointer when I was growing up who ingested approximately 4 Barbie dolls circa 1883 and also ate the dash off of his truck. I’ve been fascinated with stories of what dogs eat and do when we’re not around.

    Have you ever set up a camera and videotaped him while you’re out?

    Have you tried a DAP plug-in? I’ve heard they’re helpful in situations like this.

    Jim says: We don’t have a video camera to use for taping. One day I did set up the digital camera shooting video in the kitchen, because we had seen Tucker trying to climb on the counter and thought that would make a funny video if we could catch, but it only ran about 10 minutes before stopping and nothing happened in the kitchen. However, we could hear the dogs crashing around in the living room on the video. Maybe we’ll try again in there …


  4. I may be responsible for the defense that resulted in the release of the “other felon” from an Albuquerque institution of lower learning. I’ll look back in my files. Undoubtedly (as is the case with almost all my clients), Dennis had a terrible childhood, lacking the nurturing that would have made him an upstanding citizen. You really need to cut him some slack!

    Jim says: This is, in fact, entirely true. Check Dennis’s page for the whole story!


  5. Iz all purely circumstantial, they haz nothing to go on.
    I mean geez, does I have to point out the obvious?
    If it was a shot, where is the bullet? Ohh and was there even gun powder residue where your sniper was spotted?
    No, I thinkz it WAS you Tucker! I think you concocted this whole elaborate scheme to set up Dennis!!
    After all Dennis dosen’t need to get in his prison buddies to getz you into trouble does he? But you need a little help don’t you???


  6. Well since we share a fur colour if not a species I can see clearly that you are totally innocent Tucker! Oh yes, it is quite impossible for a stunningly beautiful sorrel boy of any species to cause destruction of any kind. It’s ever the curse of the beautiful though to stand out in a crowd and therefore be blamed for things they had nothing to do with…


  7. Shhh! Be verwy, verwy quiet. I’m hunting wabbits! Bugs has NEVER been innocent but always gets away with murder, or in this case, pillow destruction. Tucker and Trixie make a fab Holmes and Watson, what!


  8. Tucker, you are so well spoken! Those are such cute pictures of you and Trixie. Surely you don’t believe that Dennis could be so bad that he would try to frame you for something?? Especially pillow murder! You know, that Bugs is bad enough that he may be trying to cause trouble for Dennis and his family….


  9. Hmmm, having just brought home my first Vizsla, Yes I must admit that crime scene does look like a Vizsla did the deed. Does he have a motive or better yet, what is his alleged alibi ?


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