a skolarly treetis on how bunneez mite be eeting yore froot treez

hello nice reederz its dennis the vizsla dog wel as yoo may no a wile bak dada and his frend planted sum froot treez on the hill behind their howses the idea beeing that in a fyoo yeerz the treez wood produse froot and then we cud eet it now yoo may be thinking to yoreself that this is a reedikyulus consept becuz evrywun nos that froot comes from the soopermarkit howevr dada insists that it akchooally grows on trees just like munny and spaghetti dada is so silly sumtimes!!!!

wel ennyway it turns owt that the bunnies on the hillside hav ben eeting the leeves and tender shoots off the socalled froot treez and sumhow they hav manajd to eet leeves that are much too hi off the grownd for them to reech yoozing normal meenz like stretching and yet it is well nown that bunneez cannot climb treez so theirfore with my keen observayshuns and uncanny deduktiv abiliteez i hav compiled this skolarly treetis on how they mite be eeting dadas froot trees and by ekstenshun yore own froot treez shud yoo be delooded enuf to hav them

first up we hav the bunny in the cherry picker this injenyus devise allows the bunny to denood an entire hilside in wun afternoon simply by driving it arownd to varius treez and raising and lowering the arm yoo wil note that the cherry picker has all terrayn weelz allowing the bunny to navigate the trecherus slope owtside the fense wot offen cawses too legged kreechers like dada to fall down yoo wil also note that the bunny is waring a construkshun helmet in accordanse with california safety standards for vermin operating hevvy ekwipment

nekst we hav the bunneez on there rolling skaffolding this has an advantadj over the cherry picker in that it costs less to rent skaffolding from yore local hevy ekwipment rental store and bunneez are notoryusly short of cash beeing as how they yoozually eet it under the mistayken impreshun that it is lettus this advantadj is offset howevr by the fakt that the skaffolding duz not hav a moter and so must be pushd arownd manyooally wich is verry diffikult on the steep hilside howevr bunneez offen hav the warewithal to rent more than wun skaffolding at a time wich mayks the job go faster oh and wunse agin the bunneez ar waring there helmets way to be sayf bunneez!!!!

in this pikcher we can see that the bunny has enlisted the help of a frendly nayborhud jiraff to assist it in its leef eeting aktiviteez this jiraff has no dowt eskaypd frum the wild animal park perhaps wile the enklozhur wich it shayrs with the famus shiny krome pole was beeing renovated the jiraff of korse has no intrest in eeting the leevs becuz wot with all the munny it mayks as a spokesanimal for toys r us it is abel to dine in fine restawrants like sooplantayshun and the olive garden yoo wil note that this bunny is not waring a helmet and neether ar the subsekwent bunneez and that is becuz they are no longer wurking with construkshun ekwipment and hense are not coverd by protektiv geer statchoots

in this pikcher we can see that a desperat groop of bunneez has resorted to using proton paks to dislodj leevs from the tree ever sinse the gostbusters franchise system closed down the blak market has of korse been awash in surplus proton paks wich can be yoozd for nocking down yummy foliadj as well as treeting yore gost to a proton pak tost the only problem is that bunneez ar kareless and tend to cross the streems wich offen results in the creayshun of smoldering black kraters on the hillside

nekst we hav a bunny suspended from a helicopter as it enjoys a leezhurly meel of tender shoots this is a conveenyent way for the bunny to get at the fresh growth at the verry top of the tree however wot with the hi price of helicopter fyool theez days this praktis is no longer ekonomikal and so has larjly been abandond

and finally we have the bunnypult this contrapshun hurls the bunny into the air allowing it to grab a mowthful of leevs as it fliez past the tree howevr the bunnypult has a number of drawbaks first it rekwires a skilld operaytor becuz otherwize the bunny may miss its target compleetly as in this kayse ware the bunny has flown hi abuv the target and cannot reech the leevs second the bunny is likely to be seveerly injured upon landing unless it manajes angle its eerz just rite so that it glides sayfly to the grownd like the famus flying elefant dumbo hoo by the way has also been nown to swoop down and steel peanuts

wel their yoo hav it an eksawstiv list of the varyus ways that animals mite be eeting bark and leevs off yore froot treez as yoo can see razing froot is an ekstreemly compleks and difficult bizness and is best left to the profeshunals at the soopermarkt ok bye

18 thoughts on “a skolarly treetis on how bunneez mite be eeting yore froot treez

  1. Dennis…Tuffy here
    I was asleep and my mom woke me up with loud laughter, especially when she saw the picture of the giraffe with a bunny on his neck and the bunnypult. Maybe I can go back to sleep when she leaves your sight.
    Later buddy.


  2. ROFL!

    My mom came home one day to find that ALL of the apples were missing from the apple tree, and the ground beneath it as well. She thinks it was Mexican migrant workers stopping to strip fruit trees and sell the fruit on the side of the road, my mom is a racist obviously.

    Anyhow, she bought this motion detector camera that snaps pictures when it senses motion.

    You could try this, I doubt it’s bunnies though… maybe deer? I don’t know where you live and what critters are in the area though, but deer and bears will take down saplings in a flash.


  3. I think the cherry picker is the most practical because of its mobility & unlike the giraffe method the cherry picker equips the bunny with valuable skills for future employment in the building industry.
    The catapult, or bunntpult is the most fun as the bunny gets a major adrenalin rush & it’s possibly cheaper than admission to Disneyland


  4. Hahhaha they are all funny ways which a wabbit could do it!!
    Could it be frootbats though? WE haded millions and squillins that used to fly around together to pinch our grapes!



  5. Dennis, thank you for doing all this research. Now I know that bunnies are something to guard against. We don’t have fruit trees, but Nanny and Papa do, and I’ll pass your information along to them.

    Brown dog kisses,


  6. We think the giraffe is eating the leaves cuz he is lost and very hungry, and the rabbit is just riding around on his head cuz its fun. Hopefully Trixie won’t want to ride on his head, since she thinks she is a rabbit, cuz she is kinda big to be a giraffe hat. Oh and mom says she thinks your fruit trees need a few years, and was wondering if that was a banananana tree too?

    Dennis says: hello daisy why yes that is a banananananananana tree or so i am told i havnt seen enny banananananananas on it yet tho so they cud be lying to me they do that a lot ha ha ok bye


  7. Silly vizsla, everyone knows bunnies can fly!

    Btw, this “treetiz” isn’t an excuse as to why the hunting dogs aren’t able to keep the rabbits out of the yard, is it? 😉


  8. Bunnypults. That’s gotta be the Word of the Week. Dennis, ask your dada to slip it into his technical conversations at work and see how long before someone dares ask what it means.


  9. I wonder if these bunnies are related to the Robber Bunnies that steal Easter Baskets in local neighborhoods. Check out our blog for a picture of them and their methods, they are vicious and think nothing of taking Easter goodies away from the smallest baby. http://www.theminnesotagirls.blogspot.com/

    Happy Easter to Trixie, Tucker, you and your Mama and Dada.

    Stella, Zkhat and Jo


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