My graduate student Mutt and I are getting closer to our goal of finding the top secret hidden Kingdom of the Gophers. Unfortunately, the map we obtained led us to the Kingdom of the Meerkats instead; but as it turns out, there is no love lost between the gophers and the meerkats, and so the meerkats are more than happy to help us in our quest.
hello nice reederz its dennis the vizsla dog hay wel thanks to the timely appeeranse of a top seekret informant in the naybor dogs howsehold i hav obtaynd orijinal undoktord pikchers of the kreecher wot is nown to sum as a saint bernard dog naymd grace so heer ar the pikchers!!!! prepayr to be horrified!!!!
hello nice reederz its dennis the vizsla dog hay i just wanted to wish evrybuddy a happy tanksgiving this is my secund tanksgiving heer in my new howse with mama and dada and trixie and tucker and trouble and wile last yeer i didnt kwite git the hole tanksgiving thing this yeer i no wot tanksgiving is reely abowt it is abowt gitting together with yore luvd wuns and driving arownd in hevvy artilry
hello nice reederz its dennis the vizsla dog hay yoo mite wunder why i am wispering agin wel it is becuz trixie sez mama and dadas gud frends nown as the naybors hav gottin a noo dog frum a reskew organizayshun trixie is not verry happy abowt this becuz she sez that the naybors yard is her other yard and the naybors ar her emerjensy backup peepul and so she duznt reely want their to be a dog living their and so i am wispering so that trixie duznt no i am telling yoo all abowt this other dog ennyway trixie droo me a pikcher of this other dog so i wil recognize her and be able to bark at her and run the fense if i see her heer is the pikcher:
So here’s a little ditty that, unlike most of the tunes I serenade (read: torture) the animals with, cannot be sung to the cat. (Well, I guess it could, but it would lose a little something if “dog” were changed to “cat”.)