So Long And Thanks For All The Fries

Just when it looked like the crew of the Heart of Gold would be bringing us back to Earth without any further incidents, the ship’s short-range radar picked up an enemy vessel closing fast. At first we were afraid that Captain Sweet Tater had somehow found us again, but it turned out to be something far, far worse …

Yes, it is the dreaded Jabba the Spudd, cousin of Captain Sweet Tater, scourge of a hundred worlds, come to seek revenge on those who destroyed his evil relative!

Knowing that the Heart of Gold is not a warship, and that Zaphod Beeblebrox and most of his crew are notorious cowards, we fear the worst. No doubt Jabba the Spudd expects no resistance, as he has come lightly armed in one of his smaller ships. But he did not reckon on the presence of one brave soul aboard Zaphod’s ship:

The rest of the crew draws courage from Trillian’s example, and instead of abject surrender, they decide to fight!

With Jabba the Spudd’s engines damaged by Trillian’s surprise attack, Zaphod takes the opportunity to fire up the Heart of Gold‘s most advanced, and most dangerous, technology.

Amazingly, the infinite improbability drive, with its reality-bending powers, causes a gigantic deep fat fryer to materialize out of thin air right in the path of Jabba the Spudd’s out-of-control vessel. Before his pilots can take evasive action, his doomed craft plunges into thousand-degree cooking oil!

Jabba the Spudd has been destroyed! The reign of terror of the Sweet Tater clan is over! It is time to celebrate!

After we all eat our fill of yummy sweet tater fries, Zaphod makes good on his promise and returns us to Earth, none the worse for all our adventures in deep space.

It is a sad goodbye for our new friends aboard the Heart of Gold, but perhaps we will see them again someday.

After all, as we know now, nothing is infinitely improbable. Especially not for me, Dennis the Vizsla; because I never give up.