A DAY IN THE LIFE OF A CAT

HELLO HUMAN SERVANTS, THIS IS TROUBLE THE KITTY. THE OTHER DAY MY HUMAN SERVANT LEFT THE SIDE DOOR OPEN SUPPOSEDLY SO I COULD GET SOME LIGHT AND FRESH AIR, ALTHOUGH I SUSPECT HE HAD AN ULTERIOR MOTIVE.

OF COURSE, THE BIG CLUMSY DOGS THAT STEP ON ME USED THIS AS AN EXCUSE TO COME IN AND TRY TO DRINK MY WATER AND STEAL MY DEPOSITS FROM THE CAT BOX.

FORTUNATELY I AM WELL PREPARED TO DEAL WITH SUCH THUGGISH BEHAVIOR. I HAVE MY LASER BEAM STARE …

… AND VARIOUS BOOBY-TRAPS, SUCH AS THE SIXTEEN-TON WEIGHT …

… AND MY ARMY OF HUMAN SERVANT LAWYERS …

… AND IF THOSE BIG CLUMSY DOGS KEEP BOTHERING ME AFTER ALL THAT, I WILL OPEN A PORTAL TO LET THE GREAT OLD ONE CTHULHU COME THROUGH AND EAT THEM! MWAHAHAHA!!!

THE NICE THING ABOUT CTHULHU IS THAT HE SMELLS LIKE FISH. PURR PURR PURR P — EH?

ONE OF THESE DAYS, DOGS … ONE OF THESE DAYS …

20 Comments on “A DAY IN THE LIFE OF A CAT

  1. Pfffffffttttt –

    You are a khat –

    I am a khanine –

    End of argument –

    Please khall your next witness….

    Hugz&Khysses,
    Khyra

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  2. Good job Trouble!
    One time Cliff rescued a kitten from somewhere and brought her home. We wanted to keep her but the dogs would not leave her litter box alone. We gave her to our cat-loving friend.

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  3. Trouble I hates to say it but I thinks you prolly owe the dawgs sum munny due to the dawghouse of justiss incident so Im not shore that the dawgs is ‘stealing yer deposits.’ It is more like they is garnishing yer wages or perhaps seezing yer assets.

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  4. TOO BAD THINGS DIDN’T WORK OUT FOR YOU!
    signed: YOUR MINIONS, THE EVIL FRED AND GEORGE BOFUR

    No! Don’t listen to them Trouble! There is still time to find redemption! Turn away from the Dark Side!! ~S.Le

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  5. Aww Trouble I feels for you… poor furriend.. those big silly woofies.. The things you has to put up with 😦

    Including the noise ass drying in YOUR room 🙂

    V-V

    Trouble says: HELLO VICTOR THE VAMPIRE KITTY. YOU ARE CERTAINLY RIGHT ABOUT THE DRYER. MY DEAR DEPARTED SISTER POOH BEAR USED TO ENCOURAGE ME TO LIE ON IT WITH HER AND ENJOY THE HEAT AND VIBRATION (MY HUMAN SERVANTS CALLED IT “KITTY MAGIC FINGERS”), BUT I KNOW THAT A MACHINE THAT MAKES THAT MUCH NOISE CANNOT BE TRUSTED. PURR PURR PURR.

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  6. How do you sleep with that constant noise. You are a bit lazy even when the clumsy dogs came in you barely moved, I thought it was a dead cat in the box

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