The Hipster Kitties
And their imaginary friends
Choose Your Chiropractor Carefully
THE FOLLOWING IS A PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT
Hello stuffie friends. My name is Spotted Giraffe, and I am here with a public service announcement about choosing a chiropractor to keep your spine in proper working order.
Being a giraffe, I have a very long neck, and I spend a lot of time stretching, curving, and bending as I pluck tasty leaves off the trees. This naturally leaves me with quite a bit of stiffness and pain at the end of the day, so I sought assistance from Dr. Dennis. I could not have made a worse choice.
Dr. Dennis examined me, and promptly announced that my entire spine had to come out. “Don’t worry,” he said. “We’ll get you a replacement spine and you’ll be good as new,” he said. But little did I know, there is no such thing as spine replacement surgery!
It was only later that I learned that rather than having any interest in improving my spinal strength and mobility, all Dr. Dennis wanted was to get at my squeaky, which was inconveniently (for him) located directly beneath my spine. Once he had that, he completely lost interest in me or my condition.
Dr. Dennis got his squeaky all right, but, sadly, I am left with no backbone. Not only am I no longer able to go about my normal daily activities; I have also lost my part-time volunteer position assisting the poor hungry bunnies on the hill in obtaining the succulent leaves to be found at the top of the tall fruit trees. But of course, none of this matters to Dr. Dennis. He has already moved on to other victims, leaving me mutilated and forgotten. If only I had done my homework, I would have learned about Dr. Dennis’s past misdeeds before he lost his plastic surgery license. Do not let this happen to you; always ask for references and talk to other patients before you start seeing a new doctor, no matter how cute and fuzzy he or she may appear!
Good day, and thank you for reading.
This public service announcement was brought to you by the Stuffie Defense League.
19 Comments on “Choose Your Chiropractor Carefully”
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you need to move in with a nice succulent turkey nurse who will take care of you, and maybe have a few kids hee hee hee
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Dear Mr. Giraffe,
I wouldn’t worry. You never had a spine in the first place or you wouldn’t have let Dennis any where near you! You should have known all about him by looking at his shifty eyes and his drooling mouth.
Jonesy
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Chase says, this happens all the time at our house. However, we cherish the carcasses and take them places since they can no longer walk. Mom tenderly washes them from time to time to avoid decomposition.
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From various stuffies in the Texas Sundog Household.
Oh my. Had you contacted us first, we could have warned you about using ANY K-9 dogters. We are in various states of condition, ranging from life support, to wheelchair bound, to just this side of the dirt nap. Thank you for publicly addressing this dirty little secret that goes on all over the world where dogs and stuffies share homes…..
The stuffies in Texas
HEY!!! WATCH OUT!! HERE THEY COME!! AAaaaaaa……
*fade to black*
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I say you sue, Mr. Spotted Giraffe! Sue Dennis for all he’s worth! Money may not make you happy but it buys you such pretty things.
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I hope Dr. Dennis has Malpractice Insurance. A LOT of it.
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HaRooooo!
My BFF Sitka’s little sister Cornelia Marie did some eye surgery on one of her bird stuffies! I don’t think she’ll be on the SDL approved listing!
Hugz&Khysses,
Khyra
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Unfortunately you shouldn’t have stuck your neck out Mr. Giraffe.
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Oh dear, my mummy has a friend called GiraFee, I do not know how to be chiropractor, I am too young, maybe not practice on mummy’s friends??? I do know how to shred stuffie though, um um, I recognise shred stuffie techniques. I have no stuffies (mummy & daddy have rules about this – boring, something to do with small hoomans) so I practice on other things I find like mummy shoes and sofa cushions…
Mummy says, give the giraffe some nettles, they like them, make feel better.
Velvety kissies
Sophie
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So sorry about your squeaky (pppfffffttttkheekheekhee… ).
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Oooo but Stuffie Giraffe…. you look good to me… very good.. and tasty… oooo I’d help you fix up, or maybe destuff, isn’t that a good thing?
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hahah Ooo Dennis! This is totally bad!! it’s so bad it’s funny!! Though I do not think Momma can finish her breakfast now coz all she can think about is horror movies of spines being ripped out and still sqiggling about.. heheh foooooooood
V-V
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Hai Dennis! Yoo got the squeeker out of dat toy? Mom kept the one I tore out of foxy and now torments me wif it’s squeaks!
OHBOYOHBOYOHBOY!!
::springs in my feet::
::springs in my feet::
I is Jake!
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The stuffies in our house would like to join the League. Where do they sign up? And is it free to join? Because they do not have an arm or a leg to give. Literally.
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Sorry, bubs, but you gots a squeaky inside, you gets it chewed out.
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how sad! but one thing i have to say: will dennis still be the dennis we love if he became a law-abiding pup????
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Oh my goodness this is dreadful news! 😦 I think we may have some spare stuffing here, left over from Mummy’s regular making of catnip pillows and toys for us – might that not work as a spinal replacement?!
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Wroooo, Dennis! Dannan here! I’ve missed reading about your adventures, and hopefully I’ll be by more often to see what you’ve been up to!
This post is an excellent example! I am always impressed by a good de-stuffer! Excellent job, my furend.
Brown dog kisses,
Dannan
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Oh we have the same problem over here! Joey and Kealani have removed insides along with sqeakys and I have a pile of animals on the surgical table to “fix”!
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