THE FOLLOWING IS A PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT
Hello stuffie friends. My name is Spotted Giraffe, and I am here with a public service announcement about choosing a chiropractor to keep your spine in proper working order.
Being a giraffe, I have a very long neck, and I spend a lot of time stretching, curving, and bending as I pluck tasty leaves off the trees. This naturally leaves me with quite a bit of stiffness and pain at the end of the day, so I sought assistance from Dr. Dennis. I could not have made a worse choice.
Dr. Dennis examined me, and promptly announced that my entire spine had to come out. “Don’t worry,” he said. “We’ll get you a replacement spine and you’ll be good as new,” he said. But little did I know, there is no such thing as spine replacement surgery!
It was only later that I learned that rather than having any interest in improving my spinal strength and mobility, all Dr. Dennis wanted was to get at my squeaky, which was inconveniently (for him) located directly beneath my spine. Once he had that, he completely lost interest in me or my condition.
Dr. Dennis got his squeaky all right, but, sadly, I am left with no backbone. Not only am I no longer able to go about my normal daily activities; I have also lost my part-time volunteer position assisting the poor hungry bunnies on the hill in obtaining the succulent leaves to be found at the top of the tall fruit trees. But of course, none of this matters to Dr. Dennis. He has already moved on to other victims, leaving me mutilated and forgotten. If only I had done my homework, I would have learned about Dr. Dennis’s past misdeeds before he lost his plastic surgery license. Do not let this happen to you; always ask for references and talk to other patients before you start seeing a new doctor, no matter how cute and fuzzy he or she may appear!
Good day, and thank you for reading.