The Oceanside Animals
And their imaginary friends
a skolarly treetis on how the dishwasher wurks
hello nice reederz its dennis the vizsla dog wel i hav lernd throo kayrful observayshun abowt a majikal device in the kitchen wot is nown as the dishwasher this misteeryus boks tayks dishes that ar coverd with yummy fud residoo and after beeing closed for a wile prodooses dishes wot ar kleen and shiny and not verry yummy ennymore this is wot this contrapshun luks like:
natchoorally i wuz verry kyoorius as to how this simpul boks cud perform sutch amazing feets of kleening and after much deliberayshun and owrs of kalkyoolayshuns i hav formyoolayted the following theereez of wot mite be going on behind that closd door heer goes:
first we see the blak hole powerd dishwasher in this model a verry small blak hole is formd in the middle of the yoonit and its gravitayshunal pul kawses the food partikuls to detach from the dishes and wotnot and be sukd thru the singyoolarity wense they travel thru a wurmhole to be depositd in sum alternat yooniverse wot is ful of such refyoose now i am not shoor eksaktly how the dishwasher jenerayts and mayntayns and terminayts the eksistense of the blak hole but i am shoor my gud frend laura the fizzicist cud eksplayn it
nekst we hav the model in wich a clever wizard majikally kawses the fud wayst to disappeer becuz as is wel nown wizards hav also ben affekted by the ekonomic downtern the only problem with the wizard model is if yoo git wun of those eezily korrupted wizards hoo desides he wants to keep al the fud partikuls for himself and starts mayking an army of orks owt of them and then tries to tayk over yore kitchen if that happens i rekommend finding sum ents to help yoo owt
uh oh wizard luk owt their is a balrog behind yoo!!!! oh wel i hope mama and dada dont mind soot stayns on there dishes ok mooving on relayted to the wizard model is the kind of dishwasher ware mining dwarvs with pickakses come into the masheen and remoov enkrusted fud by striking it repeetedly with there mining implimints this sort of dishwasher is gud for peepul hoo dont like to wash there dishes before putting them in the yoonit to be kleend
and finaly we hav the tucker model in wich my brother tucker the other vizsla dog enters the dishwasher thru a hidden door and proseeds to lik kleen all the dirty dishes contaynd within this method of korse prodooses the kleenest most sparkly dishes of all becuz tucker is nown to never ever leev a spot of fud on ennything he can get hold of this kind of dishwasher is brawt to yoo by the saym fine peepul wot kreated the faymus vizsl-o-matic towel kleening device
the only problem with the tucker model of dishwasher is confining tuckers activiteez to the dishwasher yoonit as sumtimes he is a littel overeeger to perform his dooteez:
wel their yoo hav it a skolarly treetis on varyus methods dishwashers mite yooze to keep yore playts kleen so the nekst time yoo go shopping for this major applyanse pleez be shoor to ask the salesperson wich sort of kleening method it employd by the yoonit yoo ar intrested in after all it is verry important theez days to be an informd shopper!!! ok bye
Share this:
22 Comments on “a skolarly treetis on how the dishwasher wurks”
Leave us a woof or a purr!
Hipsters, Lulu, & Company
Thank you Petcretary Ingrid of Meezer’s Mews & Terrieristical Woofs!
Recent Comments
Good knowledge Dennis. With the economy the way it is, it may be more practical to use the Dennis method.
LikeLike
We have Cardi pre-wash here. You are correct that it is very efficient. It uses no fossil fuels so is ecologically sound. This was a much-needed treatise, Dennis.
LikeLike
yeah, we have one of those washer thingys too, i call it the ‘buzz-kill machine’.
LikeLike
I always wondered how those machines work. I thought it was some kind of magic.
LikeLike
Hey Dennis does you know how a dawg like me can get a job like Tuckers? I thinks I would be a good fit. Well mebbe not in the dishwasher. Im a little big fer that.
Yer pal Dozer.
LikeLike
Very good information Dennis since Cliff wants a dishwasher. I don’t know why since he already has one. I know…lame.
I see Tucker is as obsessed with human food as Mandy–at least he doesn’t have the same weight problem.
LikeLike
No wonder the Dwarf is Grumpy what a yucky job. The Tucker model looks like the best idea, but is there a drool removal cycle???
LikeLike
Who needs a dishwasher when you have dogs!
Glad to know the Dwarves found work. Obviously, Disney doesn’t use them anymore.
My dishwasher has a dragon. I believe it burns the food off. When I open the door immediately after the cycle is over, smoke comes out!
LikeLike
Tolkein was very interested in etymology ( = who made up which word when) , Dennis. I haven’t consulted with him, but I think that Orks created from leftover foodstuffs, would probably be called Orts.
LikeLike
Veddy interesting. Where do you factor in the slugs? Do you ever get slugs in your dishwasher? Is that just a dishwasher feature unique to our own dishwashers? In two houses in two cities on two CONTINENTs, even… we got SLUGS in our dishwashers. And slugs are so icky that even DUCKS won’t eat ’em.
LikeLike
Well our dishwasher at home is the sprocket-o-matic version, however since sprocket is now pretty old he has a hard time climbing up on the door so mom pre-rinses them.
LikeLike
Ooooo boyohboyohboy!
I gets those sort of treats too! And dey is always yummy gud!!!!!
::springs in my feet::
::springs in my feet::
I is Jake!
LikeLike
Thanks to you, Dennis, I now have the perfect idea for The Girl’s Christmas present! The Dannan-Dish-Dewashifyer!
Wroo!
Dannan
Pee Ess I just was at Daisy’s bloggy (Daisydog, not Daisy the cat), and she did a scientific study about Milk Bones. They are cheating her out of the burger flavour, and I think she should sue. You know some lawyer doggies, right???
LikeLike
Are you drunk whe you type? LOL!! Maybe secret dog code…nah..your drunk..I know it!! 🙂
I think the dog should get to take off his hat and get a santa one for the holiday’s!
LikeLike
The Wilhelmina model of the canine deluxe cleans only wine glasses … This is a slight problem because the Wilhelmina model is a bit underaged for such hard labor.
LikeLike
Laura the Physicist asked me to tell you about how the black hole is being formed by collision of very high energy particles. It is a lot like what they are trying to do in Switzerland, which is meant to help design even better dishwashers. The dishes are cleaned really really fast before the black hole naturally decays and leaves that sparkle on your dishes. You have to keep the door closed otherwise it might get out and cause real problems.
LikeLike
WOW! We have a dishwasher like that too, except momma calls it the pooch pre-wash.
And funny you mention dishwasher, granmommy said something funny tonight
“Lynette, your poor Zoe is so hungry, she’s licking the dishwasher.”
Hmm now that I think of it maybe she was auditioning for the job.
LikeLike
You have some fascinating theories on how the dishwasher works, Dennis. I think we must have a black-hole model, as we don’t have a helpful dog around.
LikeLike
heee heee heee, well thank you for clearing that up!
LikeLike
WE has had lots of dishwasher catch firs over here Dennis, and now that explains iot!! The weezards can’t not control their blasting powahs!
Thank you Dennis for once again letting up in on the know! 🙂
V-V
LikeLike
One of the best so far! I love the fact that the wizard hates his job!
LikeLike
Pingback: to rantcho gwakkamoley!!! now in 3d!!! | Dennis's Diary of Destruction