noo furnitcher?

hello nice reederz its dennis the vizsla dog hay this weekend i herd a roomer that mama and dada ar starting to think abowt maybe konsidring gitting noo furnitcher to replayse the furnitcher wot has kontinyood to misteeryusly deteeryorayt with noo rips and tares appeering regyoolarly:

i hav herd dada say that maybe we wil git a seement kowtch wich wood maybe keep the gofers frum the yard frum rekking it like they did the old furnitcher

unfortchoonatly yoo and i both no that a seement kowtch wood be no match for the feendish inventivness of the gofers

i dont no wot the deel is with this hyooman obseshun with sofas ennyway i think al we reely need is sum ful size dog beds and we wood be al set dont yoo agree???

i also herd that wunse we get noo furnitcher i mite end up in my krate wenever mama and dada arnt home so evidently they stil think i am the wun wot has been destroying stuf can yoo beleev it??? even tho i hav konkloosivly demonstrayted that its the gofers wot ar dooing it mama and dada remayn unkonvinsed maybe i need to put together a powerpoynt presentayshun for them and then they wood git the pikcher or perhaps i shud hire a public relayshuns firm maybe that wood do the trik ennyway i think mama and dada ar beeing verry selfish wen yoo konsider the stayt of the economy i think they shud buy noo furnitcher at leest every two or three munths in order to keep the weels of kommerse terning but oh wel i gess they are just not sivvik minded like me so we wil see wot happins ok bye

21 Comments on “noo furnitcher?

  1. Dennis, you have been rubbing off on my pugs. They have been systematically destroying a lazy-boy recliner in the living room. I fixed their wagon, though. I put cayenne pepper all over the edges to discourage chewing! So far it appears to be working!

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  2. Dennis I think your mama and dada are very smart with the thought of concrete furniture. I’m going to look into it too. Thanks for the tip mama and dada.

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  3. Hai Dennis!

    I can not believe dat yer mama and dada still believe dat yoo did all that destruction! Clearly it was those gofers! Concrete furniture, uh does dat mean yoo can pee on it? Dat wud be great!!

    OHBOYOHBOYOHBOY!!

    ::springs in my feet::
    ::springs in my feet::

    I is Jake!

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  4. Or they could leave you out, and get video of you destroying the new furniture as well, hey…it would be great blogging material!

    Dennis says: hello narcissus its dennis the vizsla dog hay i tried to sugjest that and think maybe dada wood hav agreed to it but mama sed no way i gess we no hoo wares the pants arownd heer!!!! ha ha ok bye

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  5. I haveto be very careful: I only open these pages with Zora asleep… I can hear her snoaring right now!
    What mama and dada need is some nice, minima, stailess steel and concrete furniture!!!!

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  6. Hi, Dennis!
    For some reason my mom thinks it is a good idea the concret couch with wood! I don’t know why!
    Kisses and hugs
    Lorenza

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  7. Oh Dennis, it is great to visit again. I think the big dog bed sounds perfect.
    Humans are not very practical and why do they buy stuff that gets shabby like that.

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  8. Dear Dennis,

    My mom says, “Tell your Mom and Dad not to get any light furniture!” I think brown would look very nice and, match your fur. At my house, the couches are beige and I think my mom hates when I get it all gooky. And sometimes I make terrible smells on it. But I also have to sit on a little pad. Dose your Mom and Dad make you sit on a pad while you are on the couch? I don’t really understand why.

    I definitely think you should make a power point to prove that those nasty gophers are eating up the furniture. I don’t know any gophers. I know squirles though and let me tell you, they steal food off the counter. My mom and dad would never believe that though either.

    You might also want to set up a hidden camera, catch them in the act, then post the proof to youtube!

    Riley the Catahoula

    Dennis says: hello riley its dennis the vizsla dog ummmmm yes wel we hav tried the hidden camera thing and it mayyyyyyy hav kawzd me to be implikayted in verryus sorts of furnitcher destrukshun and relayted aktiviteez however i can garantee that thoze viddyos wer all faykd by sumbuddy with an imac and imoovee!!!!! ok bye

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  9. Looking forward to your powerpoint presentation Dennis, how rude that Mama and Dada are blaming you for the annihilation of said furniture….pff, very rude indeed!
    Hey, I is Jake….you can pee on any furniture, doesn’t have to be concrete, no…..yeh, just lift your leg on it as normal, easy!
    Slobbers xx

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  10. A “seement kowtch” may not work for the gofers but will sure make their work a little harder eh Dennis.

    Especialy if mama and dada turn off the electric when they go out so they can’t use power tools on it!

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  11. Great post Dennis! In fact, it is the post of the day over at Worth a Thousand Words. I think the couch you have now is just fine.

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  12. I’ve always wondered if gofers used heavy equipment. Thanks for showing me the truth.

    I wish you had a bed that big. Heck, wish I had a bed like that as well!

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  13. Well Dennis I wish I could offer you sum advise here but um I had similar issues only with windowsills and power cords fer a very long time and so my Mummy always putted me in a crate when she leaved the house. Acktually it wuz not too bad cause Mummy wuz always happy when she comed home insted of unhappy like before when she saw the misterius damage to the windowsills.

    I wuz thinking the quote “Time heels all wunds” wuz prolly a good quote fer to comfort you cause I beleeve that as time passes then damage to furnichure decreases but acktually I am thinking now that is prolly cause of replacement of furnichure rather than actual heeling.

    Yer pal Dozer

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  14. We don’t see why your mum and dad need new furniture. Of course you are right if they just got a large dog bed you could all fit in there and that would save replacing furniture. It is so simple we dont know why they have not thought of this and it has taken a dog like you to suggest it!

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  15. We also meant to say Thankyou for explaining about the snow. We will go and get the video of Edward Scissorhands and watch it again!

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  16. Dear Dennis, I am intrigued by the giant dawg bed thing. I wonder where you could buy that. Mom says we need a new couch but she can’t get one until Dad stops messing up the one we have. She says it smells funny, but me and Dad think it smells just fine. What is the deal with moms?

    Your pal,
    Titus

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