Now that the mysterious affair of the Maltese Crow has been resolved, and everything is once again in color instead of black and white, I had hoped that I could go back to the quiet life of an unassuming archeology professor slash globetrotting adventurer slash space traveler slash private detective. Unfortunately, there was one thing that I hadn’t counted on: A university fund-raiser. One would almost prefer to face the horror of Darth Tater than a room full of potential donors. But we do what we must, don’t we?
I’m not sure what I dislike most about these events, but having to put on a full suit is quite high on the list:
Not only does this outfit make me feel like some sort of performing monkey, but I am also banned from wearing my trusty fedora. How can I play the part of Dennis the Vizsla, international adventurer, without my fedora?
Of course, having to make small talk with the donors is an onerous task as well:
All anyone ever wants to talk about is my tabloid adventures. No one ever wants to discuss the finer science of archeology. But at least on the dance floor, I can show off my skills at ballroom, which generally suffices to silence the small talk, at least for a while. Afterwards, at the reception on the lawn, there is very little to do except chitchat, and eat, and chitchat, and eat. And, of course, deal with the occasional party-crasher.
Unable to take it anymore, I sneak away from the party, shed the monkey-suit, and relax. But what’s this? Someone else is making her getaway from the party as well!
Intrigued, I follow her down the front lawn, and join her on a log far away from the hustle and noise of the fund-raiser.
Unfortunately, our conversation is interrupted by screams of terror from the house; my nemesis, the infamous giant hedgehog Spiny Norman has crashed the party. Spiny Norman has been dogging my trail for months; I lost him while I was in space, but he has found me again. Now that he has invaded the university, I have no choice but to face him head-on, lest he destroy the entire campus in his search for Dinsdale or tasty mealworms or whatever it is he is looking for. But before I confront Spiny Norman, there is something I need.
Ah, there’s my fedora. Now I am ready for the final battle with Spiny Norman; because I am Dennis the Vizsla, and I never give up.