Hello good readers. This is Tucker the Vizsla. Recently a picture surfaced purporting to show Dennis and myself sleeping in close proximity. While some have called this picture a “mirror image”, others have noted here and elsewhere that while Dennis appears to be young, I appear to be old. And yet once I was the young one! Could it possibly be a coincidence that after Dennis showed up, I became the “old dog” in the house? Let us investigate. Come, Trixie! The game is afoot!
Let us begin by examining the evidence to prove that, once, I was indeed a young vizsla dog. In this first picture, you can clearly see that I am holding my own against Trixie, the alpha dog of the household. Obviously only a young and energetic dog could perform such a feat.
Next, here is a picture of me at a dog park greeting a German shepherd puppy. As you can see, we are nearly the same size, so obviously I must be a puppy in this picture as well.
Now let us take a look at Dennis’s arrival and its aftermath. These pictures were taken shortly after Dennis was rescued. As you can see he looks tired and sick, and in fact, my mama spent the first several days referring to him as “old man”.
Ah, but what does Dennis look like now? Let us see:
Obviously, Dennis has gotten younger since he started living with us! But what has become of me?
The evidence is incontrovertible. Dennis has gotten younger, while I have gotten older. Therefore, it must be the case that Dennis has stolen my youth and vitality, no doubt using the same sort of evil magic that was originally discovered by the infamous Dorian Gray.
So when you are enjoying Dennis’s antics, just remember, it is his fault that I am old. QED — the case of why Tucker is old and Dennis is young is closed.
Elementary, my dear Trixie. Elementary.