And The Segway You Rode In On

When I filed my last dispatch, nearly a month ago, my arch-nemesis (no, my OTHER arch-nemesis, Spiny Norman) had just crashed a university fund-raiser, forcing me to finally confront him head-on in an epic battle for the ages.  Where have I been in the thirty days since our battle started?  In a word:  Everywhere.

In any major duel, the first thing a combatant must do is choose a weapon — in my case, Scarlett’s Segway scooter.

Thus armed and ready, I set in motion my master plan to finally defeat Spiny Norman once and for all:

Our battle raged far and wide. I fought Spiny Norman tooth and nail across the deserts of Egypt …

… to the airless wastelands of the moon …

… to the verdant steps of the Peruvian mountains …

… until I finally defeated him before the ageless spires of Angkor Wat, where I at last discovered the terrible secret he had been trying so desperately to hide:

Here at last I learned why Spiny Norman was always so irritable. Despite his monstrously large head, his body was actually that of a normal hedgehog. Ostracized from the hedgehog community and with a perpetual stiff neck, Spiny Norman turned his frustrations against the whole world, becoming a criminal, a stalker, and a bully. And having learned this, I have resolved to help him find his place, his niche in life. Sure, he may be a freak; but plenty of freaks still manage to become functional members of society. Just look at my brother, Tucker.

This is a difficult task, but I am sure that I will succeed; because I am Dennis the Vizsla, and I never give up.

12 Comments on “And The Segway You Rode In On

  1. Oh Dennis! You did it and Saturday matinees are back! I was wondering did you get the girl? You know like at the end of all good movies?

    Like

  2. You accomplished all this, just you and Scarlett’s Segway. Amazing, Dennis, simply amazing.

    Accolades to you!

    Kisses,
    Stella

    Like

  3. Awesome adventure super hero Dennis.
    BTW the black red hole in the fabric of space in the 1st picture looks amazingly similar to Tasmania…..

    Like

  4. wow you sure did battle all over the place, you should have your own video game!! Can you even imagine how much fun that would be?? Tanner is a freak too, I feel ya buddy.

    Like

hello nice reeder its dennis the vizsla dog hay leev me a peemail if yoo want to!!! ok bye

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