Beware of Unnecessary Surgery

THE FOLLOWING IS A PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT

Hello stuffie friends, this is Cowboy Hedgehog, and I am here with an important public service announcement about unnecessary surgery and a dangerous syndrome called Munchhounden by Proxy.

As you may recall, I arrived here at Dennis the Vizsla’s house just a few short weeks ago, and quickly became one of Dennis’s favorite companions.  The other stuffies in the house told me not to trust Dennis, but he was so friendly and attentive that I dismissed their warnings as petty jealousy.  Soon, however, I learned that I had made a terrible mistake.

It wasn’t long before Dennis began constantly asking me if I felt all right.  I assured him I was fine, but he didn’t seem to believe me.  He would ask me if I smoked, saying that he had heard that all cowboys smoked; he would ask me if I ever fell off a horse and hit my head.  I tried to tell him that I wasn’t that kind of cowboy, but he persisted.  Finally he dragged me off to a so-called “doctor” friend of his for an “examination”.

Despite my protests, I was quickly brought into the operating theater, where I was strapped to a gurney. Only then did the full extent of Dennis’s Munchhounden by Proxy psychosis become clear:

I was then subjected to repeated unnecessary surgeries, all of them ones that Dennis had suggested when he had so “innocently” inquired about my health. First, to “cure” my nonexistent throat cancer brought about by my imaginary smoking habit, Dennis and his “doctor” friend performed an emergency tracheotomy:

Then, to relieve the supposed pressure on my brain as a result from falling off a horse and hitting my head, they performed a decompressive craniectomy:

And then, finally, they performed a medical procedure that I do not even believe exists, but which they called a caputectomy:

As you can see, as a result of Dennis’s Munchhounden by Proxy syndrome, I will never be able to ride the open range while enjoying a cigarette, even if I wanted to.  Do not let this happen to you!  If someone seems overly solicitous of your health for no good reason, beware!  Beware!

Good day, and thank you for reading.

This public service announcement was brought to you by the Stuffie Defense League.

26 Comments on “Beware of Unnecessary Surgery

  1. We can’t leave much of a comment. La mia ragazza has passed out cold from laughing and I can’t type very well…

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  2. Oh dear. Dennis would surely not do that. You must be confused from your head injury…..
    Hugs
    Sunny&Scooter
    ps we are trying to catch up with our friends. We have missed you!!!

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  3. Deer kowby hedddggiiee,
    if yu nd ur felow heddggiees wuld stop tezing us dogz wit doos horible queecky noizes ten we wuldnt kned to do sorgury to chek on ur helth. wez is onle tryng to helps yus.

    Dennis, uz mit want to chek wit ur papa nd make sur he has somting called “umbela” suranze. tat way nobude gets in to much truble. gr8 wurk on te nek nd hed. i’z will folw yur fin ‘zample.
    peaz dunt call imgration on me, i iz a brittney spaniel rexcued from sheltur wit fleas nd worms..yucky tasting..i tink i ovrtayed me visa tooo.
    my mama sez i kan red ur site evryday wit her. u makes uz giggle likz te bach of girlies wez r..
    sniffs and kisses
    Aria (kwen of de castel) =)~

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  4. Oh No run away! The headless hedgehog is going to get you when you least expect it!

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  5. Poor little guy. Dennis, you should take your hedgehog stuffie to a real surgeon to get stitched up. Once he’s fixed and trusts you again, I suggest giving him a nose job. His looks a little crooked, don’t you think? *wink*wink*

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  6. I just wanted you to know I gaved you an award over at my blog!

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  7. Oh noes, poor stuffie hedgehog! Dennis darling, stuffies have feelings too… They exist, so therefore they are – innit?

    Erm, ‘scuse me, who’s Jon Astley? 🙂 xxx

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  8. Hello dear Dennis it’s me again Penny the Black Cat giving you kudos (not sure what they are but think them’s good) coz I never heard of Jon Astley before although he’s British and you are American and know all about him so that must earn you kudos (whatever they are) and I Googled him and could only play one track not the one you mentioned but never mind ay I am running out of breath luvsya BC 🙂 xxx

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  9. Munchhounden by Proxy, I will have to watch out that Dixie doesn’t ask how I am feeling. Disturbing how the head just came right off like that!!! Strangely enough Dixie has a similar post awaiting publication in draft at this very moment.

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  10. Ummm Dennis? Should you need a consult for the nose and eye job may we suggest Rosie, who is a fully qualified stuffie plastic surgeon specialising in eyeballectomies! Her rates are reasonable and payable in treats of any description 😀
    Slobbers xx

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  11. Dennis this is jest my observashun but it seems like the Stuffy Defense Leeg is putting out an awful lot of inflamatory “publik serviss” messajes with faked pitchers! I thinks you kin soo them fer sumthang called libel wich sounds kinda delishuss if you say it a bunch of times. Libel libel libel. Mmmm.

    Yer pal Dozer

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  12. Ah, Dennis, decapitated stuffies are the best because you can carry their little heads around and nobody sees it.

    You are very advanced in your stuffie experiments. I am going to examine those photos closely.

    Slobbers,
    Mango

    Like

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