Last week, I promised to help Spiny Norman find a job and fit back into society. Unfortunately, after a criminal life spent on the streets, Spiny Norman has few marketable skills, and is unable to relate to people in a normal manner. It is a difficult task I have set before myself, but I am sure Spiny Norman can succeed. All he needs is the right opportunity.
To begin the process of finding the right job for Spiny Norman, I borrow the office of the university’s vocational counselor for a long discussion of his skills and goals and purpose in life.
Unfortunately, under the stress of trying to teach geography to second-graders, Spiny Norman quickly cracks and reverts to his old behavior:
Luckily, the university’s agreements with underprivileged locations such as South Park prevent them from holding us liable for negligence, or we would be bankrupted by lawsuits. But obviously I have to be more careful and get a better feel for Spiny Norman’s skill set and temperament before sending him out into the world again.
This seems like a good choice for Spiny Norman. I have seen professional poker players on television and it looks like a nice, quiet, stress-free occupation. Perhaps it will enable Spiny Norman to relax and concentrate on relating better with others.
But I had forgotten that Spiny Norman, being a hedgehog and an outsider, does not value the same things that the rest of us do. To him, money is just paper; his currency is that which he can actually use or eat. Unfortunately, Casino Royale does not have any interest in mealworms, ants, grubs, or termites. Back to the interview room we go.
Is this, at last, a skill that we can put to use in the real world?
We will find out. But this time, I will go with my protege, to help him deal with the stress and pressures of the working world. After all, no one deals with pressure better than I do; because I am Dennis the Vizsla, and I never give up.