Having escaped from the Planet of the Stuffies using quick wit and sneakiness, I have set the Doghouse of Justice on a course for earth. I am looking forward to returning to my office in the archeology department at the university, where the only stuffies I need to concern myself with are the ones that graduate students bring me as presents. Too late, though, I realize that I have accidentally set the Doghouse of Justice to arrive in the 23rd century. Perhaps I will do a bit of sightseeing of the technological marvels that no doubt await, before returning to my proper time. After all, in two hundred years, society will, no doubt, be perfect.
Watching through the Doghouse of Justice’s viewports, I can see the amazing architecture of this brave new world of the 23rd century. Or possibly I have simply materialized in modern-day Las Vegas, and the Doghouse of Justice’s instrumentation is incorrect.
Emerging from the Doghouse of Justice, I find my way into a nearby structure, where I quickly make friends with some of the locals. Unlike George from the Planet of the Stuffies, these appear to be normal, if oddly-dressed, humans.
My new friends offer to show me around their utopian paradise, and also promise to outfit me with a name tag. Evidently name tags are very important in their society. As an archeologist and anthropologist, I find this fascinating. This culture will make for an interesting paper once I am back in the present.
Balancing the risk of “going native” against the knowledge I can gain by participating in this strange name tag ritual, I decide to go along with it.
As I am escorted into the name tag chamber and inducted into their society, I begin to fear that I have made a serious mistake.
Evidently this is one of those cultures that will take one in, but not let one go. I will play the part of a good citizen for now, but I cannot stay here, despite the evident peace and bounty (not to mention shininess) that surrounds me. My place is at the university, and I will return there; because I am Dennis the Vizsla, and I never give up.