a skolarly treetis on miths abowt owter spayse

hello nice reederz its dennis the vizsla dog hay wel we hav got the antenna and raydeeo thing wurking in this chikkin koop spayship and i am abel to send bak messadjes frum owter spayse now so i thawt that the first thing i wood do wood be to file a skolarly and hili sientifik treetis on common miths abowt owter spayse i hope this will kleer sum things up for all those siense fizziks and astronomee tipes wot ar stuk bak on erth ok heer goze

mith number wun: spayse is ful of vakyooms

a common miskonsepshun of spayse held by sientists and astronomurs is that it is ful of vakyoom kleeners

having ben heer sevral times i can tel yoo that spayse is not ful of vakyooms at al!!! in fakt it is ful of a hole lot of nuthing!!! i dont think their is eeven enny air up heer so their wood be nuthing for the vakyoom to pul in wich mayks this mith eeven sillier wen yoo think abowt it!!!

mith number too: spayse is ful of stars

menny peepul think spayse is ful of stars but this is just not troo!!!
menny peepul think spayse is ful of stars but this is just not troo!!! the only wun up heer is tom krooze!!!

now this is a mith wot is beleevd by just abowt evrybuddy and wuz popyoolarized by the faymus dokyoomentry 2001 ware the mayn karakter sez its ful of stars but reely yoo cannot trust the wurd of sumwun hoo has spent so mutch time debugging a kompyooter it mayks them a littel krazy!!! ennyway beleev me their ar no stars up heer other then tom krooze their is just a bunch of shiny littel wite dots wich i am pretty shoor ar like pinholes or sumthing in a big sheet of konstrukshun payper wot ar showing lite thats on the other side posibly coming frum a jiant lite bulb held in the mowth of an even more jiant turtel

mith number three: owr galaksee is ful of milky way bars

in spayse no wun can heer yoo eeting chokolat

now this is jut another silly mith i meen how wood al theez milky way bars hav gottin into spayse in the first playse??? ennyway it is just as wel this mith is not troo becuz chokolat is not gud for dogs beesides their woodnt be mutch rum in spayse for milky way bars with all the skittels that ar floting arownd up heer

mith number fore: spayse is ful of invayders

game over man!!! game over!!!

now this mith is wot we like to call a paranoyd deloozhun wot is propagayted by the vast viddyo gayme and moovee industree konspeerasee in order to kreayt there own persunal armee of trigger happy gaymers and moovee goers hoo wil sumday rise up and destroy the eevil hejemony of the bord gaym and buk publishing industree however it is not troo their arnt all sorts of invayders in spayse becuz THEY AR ALREDDY ON ERTH!!!!!! shhhh dont let them no i told yoo that

mith number five: carl sagan is ded

billyuns and billyuns and billyuns and billyuns ...
billyuns and billyuns and billyuns and billyuns ...

he is not!!! he has just bekum wun with the kosmos!!!

mith number siks: spayse has ben kolonized by pigs

theez ar the voyadjes of the starship swine trek
theez ar the voyadjes of the starship swine trek

ummmm akchooaly this wun appeerz to be troo sorry folks i gess yoo wil hav to stay on erth becuz the pigs hav alreddy konkerrd the yooniverse!!!

all rite wel i see that i hav just abowt reetchd my bandwidth kap for the day so i must end this transmishun but i hope this skolarly treetis has disproovd sum miths and helpd all my nice reederz gayn a grater understanding of the vast and misteeryus yet ultimatly simpul and elegant wurkings of the cosmos!!! ok bye

32 thoughts on “a skolarly treetis on miths abowt owter spayse

  1. Dennis,
    I anxiously await your next orbit over my estate so that I can learn more about outer space via my norse code communications device.

    I am so glad that you have debunked those myths. Sadly, the humans cling to the familiar and you might want to be careful who you share your new found truths with lest you find yourself embroiled in government conspiracy trial or some such.

    I am most curious about pigs in space. Is it possible that outer space is one big old barnyard what with the chicken planet as well?



  2. I think most of us have known there are pigs in space and have been for quite a while. I think I want to debunk your no vacuums in space too. Everytime the space station breaks a vacuum, they toss it out the window and after all these years of cleaning the space station, there are quite a few out there. Maybe you just missed them.



  3. I don’t know how long it took you to bring this informative post to fruition, but I’m amazed by all the erudite data I did not know about. (Tom Cruise – heeheh! – knew about that) – thanks for reporting, Dennis.
    xo Sammie


  4. Dennis
    Thank dog that you awe such a skolawly type and could debunk all these myfses fow us.
    I had heawd most of them and I know all the gullibles believe them I’m sowt of glad that the
    one about the piggies is twoo..they seem to be good at widing awound in theiw spaceships and I’m glad theat thewe is powk evewywhewe, even in space
    smoochie kissesASTA


  5. Thank you soooooo much for the myth clarification Dennis. I was really worried about the stars in space….But what about the wars in the stars??? Are there Star Wars out there in space????

    Thank you smileys!


  6. Space is full of a whole lot of nothing? It sounds an awful lot like Nebraska to me…. (And there are pigs in Nebraska, too. Hmmm… Maybe space doesn’t really exist, and all of your pictures are taken on a vacant sound lot in Nebraska…. Hmmm… I can’t think about this any more because I think my brain might explode.)

    *kissey face*


  7. Hi Dennis – wow, you’re so clever, is there anything you don’t know? We bet there isn’t! I mean, we’d always been a bit scared when it got dark because of all those hovering vacuum cleaners out there above our heads in that scary space place – thank you for clearing that up for us, we know we can go out on night time walks now without being so worried! You are great – how did you get so clever? Did you study or were you simply born with the smarts? Wow – we think you’re amazing! Yours admiringly – JD and Max.


  8. Dennis, do be careful. I hope you had your shots so you don’t get any space swine flu. Can you see my house from up there. I will go out tomorrow and put up a sign for you.
    licks and sniffs, Sasha


  9. Bonjour Dennis , you are really my hero!
    I think we can be safe now because you show what is happening around us. I was wondering how those pics are well fit inside so small plane!!!It’s amazing!
    Mommy loves those “stars”! (Elle adores Tom Cruise!)
    purrs and love
    your friend Luna


  10. 1. I’d like a new vacuum. Bring me one?
    2. If Borat is out there, I’m staying home.
    3. Milky Way is one of my faves. Bring back a lot.
    4. I do hope you brought your Joy Stick with you.
    5. Carl Sagen, like Elivs, is not dead but has just gone home.
    6. I also heard “The Great Gonzo” is really an alien.


  11. thanks for all that clarification Dennis. Hey if you get into trouble (hehehe) let me know and maybe I can help ou with my new found magical powers!


  12. I heard that the Milky Way is billions of years old. I’m glad you have proved that there are no Milky Ways out there because if it was true they’d be way past their use by date. Doraz said your imagination was sore. I hope it is feeling much better by now. Get well soon Dennis’s imagination


  13. I expect it was quite a bit of work to do? What I find interesting is how easy it is to read. One thing though. Maybe I missed it but you don’t seem to offer us any explanations of dark theory or string matter. Or is is stringy, dark, matter? Or dark, stringy, mats? Or… oh never mind. Funny post.


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