hello nice reederz its dennis the vizsla dog hay wel we hav got the antenna and raydeeo thing wurking in this chikkin koop spayship and i am abel to send bak messadjes frum owter spayse now so i thawt that the first thing i wood do wood be to file a skolarly and hili sientifik treetis on common miths abowt owter spayse i hope this will kleer sum things up for all those siense fizziks and astronomee tipes wot ar stuk bak on erth ok heer goze
mith number wun: spayse is ful of vakyooms
having ben heer sevral times i can tel yoo that spayse is not ful of vakyooms at al!!! in fakt it is ful of a hole lot of nuthing!!! i dont think their is eeven enny air up heer so their wood be nuthing for the vakyoom to pul in wich mayks this mith eeven sillier wen yoo think abowt it!!!
mith number too: spayse is ful of stars
now this is a mith wot is beleevd by just abowt evrybuddy and wuz popyoolarized by the faymus dokyoomentry 2001 ware the mayn karakter sez its ful of stars but reely yoo cannot trust the wurd of sumwun hoo has spent so mutch time debugging a kompyooter it mayks them a littel krazy!!! ennyway beleev me their ar no stars up heer other then tom krooze their is just a bunch of shiny littel wite dots wich i am pretty shoor ar like pinholes or sumthing in a big sheet of konstrukshun payper wot ar showing lite thats on the other side posibly coming frum a jiant lite bulb held in the mowth of an even more jiant turtel
mith number three: owr galaksee is ful of milky way bars
now this is jut another silly mith i meen how wood al theez milky way bars hav gottin into spayse in the first playse??? ennyway it is just as wel this mith is not troo becuz chokolat is not gud for dogs beesides their woodnt be mutch rum in spayse for milky way bars with all the skittels that ar floting arownd up heer
mith number fore: spayse is ful of invayders
now this mith is wot we like to call a paranoyd deloozhun wot is propagayted by the vast viddyo gayme and moovee industree konspeerasee in order to kreayt there own persunal armee of trigger happy gaymers and moovee goers hoo wil sumday rise up and destroy the eevil hejemony of the bord gaym and buk publishing industree however it is not troo their arnt all sorts of invayders in spayse becuz THEY AR ALREDDY ON ERTH!!!!!! shhhh dont let them no i told yoo that
mith number five: carl sagan is ded
he is not!!! he has just bekum wun with the kosmos!!!
mith number siks: spayse has ben kolonized by pigs
ummmm akchooaly this wun appeerz to be troo sorry folks i gess yoo wil hav to stay on erth becuz the pigs hav alreddy konkerrd the yooniverse!!!
all rite wel i see that i hav just abowt reetchd my bandwidth kap for the day so i must end this transmishun but i hope this skolarly treetis has disproovd sum miths and helpd all my nice reederz gayn a grater understanding of the vast and misteeryus yet ultimatly simpul and elegant wurkings of the cosmos!!! ok bye