Having performed beyond expectations in my investigation of that creepy kid who claimed to see dead people, I have impressed Dr. Crowe enough to get another assignment. This one is more in my area of expertise, an anthropological study of clan rivalries in a community of largely Asian immigrants; or, as Dr. Crowe indelicately puts it, big trouble in Little China.
I collect the relevant information from Dr. Crowe or, as I affectionately refer to him, “Doc” Crowe.
And then it’s off to Little China to see what this so-called “big trouble” is all about.
I meet my contact, one Jack Burton, and we discuss the situation that I am supposed to investigate for signs of paranormal activity. However, Mr. Burton is not what Dr. Crowe had led me to expect.
Mr. Burton takes me to see Egg Shen, a local elder who apparently is in the know about the dark goings-on in Little China. Egg Shen starts the interview with a small yet impressive display of magical skills.
I make sure to stay far enough away that Egg Shen can’t touch my nose as we talk. He reveals that Little China is in the grip of some sort of underworld figure known as Lo Pan, locally believed to be a sorcerer, perhaps in the style of my old enemy Professor Gandalf Teabing McDonald the Yellow and Red.
Egg Shen explains that in order to defeat Lo Pan, we must become a dream. Or something. I’m not really sure exactly.
Having thus been briefed by Egg Shen, I return to discuss the situation with my nerdy contact, and we prepare to drink the potion Egg Shen has provided.
The potion results in a dramatic transformation for Jack Burton — now he is, indeed, a muscular, sweaty truck driver! Unfortunately it does not appear to have a similar effect on dogs such as myself.
However, I will not let the need to pee stop me from discovering the truth behind Lo Pan and his reign of terror in Little China — because I am Dennis the Vizsla, and I never give up!