After narrowly escaping from the hangar of the Spud Star, leaving behind our entire crew, John McClane and I found ourselves caught up in the wake of the Rice Pirates as they engaged their warp drive to avoid destruction by a barrage of tater beams. Our own ship’s small engines proved unequal to the task of breaking us free from the warp-tow of the Rice Pirates’ ship; and so now we find ourselves lost, possibly halfway across the galaxy, surrounded by thieves and privateers. It’s almost enough to make me miss department meetings back at the university. Almost.
Any hopes we may have had that the Rice Pirates did not notice our presence are quickly dashed when our ship’s communications system overhears a conversation being broadcast on one of their cell phones:
Outnumbered and outgunned, we have no choice to surrender — or at least, I do. John McClane, insisting that he can take down the Rice Pirates, once again vanishes into the air ducts. Meanwhile, I am brought onto the Rice Pirates’ ship, where I am threatened with the outer space equivalent of walking the plank!
Fortunately, that instruction is overruled, helped along by some well-placed emotional manipulation.
I quickly become a sort of mascot to the Rice Pirates; they even give me a captain’s hat to replace the hat that I lost when the Orca was pulled through the wormhole.
Soon I find myself with an honored seat on the bridge, where I can look out through the display as the stars go by.
Yes, it seems that the Rice Pirates are not the cowardly, back-stabbing, thieving villains of legend, but are, in fact, just regular people doing their job; except that their job is stealing grain. Unfortunately, as soon as danger threatens, the Rice Pirates show their true colors.
The mood on the bridge quickly changes into one of panicked chaos, not to mention outright betrayal.
Shortly I find myself being dispatched on a shuttle with a load of rice, down to the wasteland planet of the Orzo Outlaws.
Who knows what fate awaits me on the dusty world below? Only time will tell. I can only hope that, somewhere in the ventilation shafts of the Rice Pirates ship, John McClane can make good on his threat to destroy the pirates, then come down to the planet and rescue me. In the meantime, I will do whatever it takes to survive whatever the Orzo Outlaws have in mind; because I am Dennis the Vizsla, and I never give up.
21 thoughts on “The Basmati Blues”
Oh boy, are those Rice Pirates ever gonna regret sending you to the Orzos. You, Dennis the Vizsla on the other hand will survive anything thrown at you!!
ps. I’m so glad Tucker is getting his own SuperSTROLLER, I love mine!!! Its good you got the none inflatable wheels (where did you find it?), but my tire exploded because my hoomans put in WAY too much air in. A second tire from my SuperSTROLLER started leaking, and we took that one and the third tire to the bike shop to have the tubes replaced. The bike shop dude felt the third tire and said they put way too much aire in and that’s why one popped and the second one leaked….. Can you imagine if it were a baby stroller? There are so many baby strollers with inflatable tires. I think my hoomans should only have canine-kids!
Dennis, you look handsome in your pirate’s hat. You lead such an exciting life, it’s difficult to keep up with you. I have to go take a long nap now. whew!
That’s a great hat! I am still laughing over just the idea of the Ice Pirates!
I forgot it was Teacher Appreciation Week! Heck, appreciation, what’s that?! That was my one and only gift out of the whole deal! Our district doesn’t even do anything for it anymore!
Well, I am very much partial to pirates, you know. But you know what they say about dogs who wear big hats, don’t you? They have enormous brains! That’s what I heard anyway.
Wiggles & Wags,
No good can come from wearing an Oakland Raiders logo. You will be judged by the company you keep and the logos that you wear.
I have a similar pirate hat that I wore for Halloween Dennis!
My mom bought a box of orzo at the store yesterday…
Dennis – I just wanted to say I loved your comment on the Jan’s Funny Farm blog about your reaction to opening a box from IKEA!! My humans really giggled at that = they can SO relate!! HA! HA! 😆
Honey the Great Dane
This story is making me very hungry!!!
Nice hat, Dennis!
Kisses and hugs
Love your pirate’s hat
looks soooooooooo COOL !!!!
(meow.. My Mommy was blog lazy
thats the reason I come so late to your blog Dennis meow..)
Hugs for the weekend
Ye gods! I hope you don’t encounter the Barley Bandits’ They’re a rough bunch.
Oh Dennis, a Rice Pirate Dog ……with a hat too! You look devilishly handsome in your new role – well they do say if you want to get ahead get a hat!!!
Happy Mother’s Day,my friend!
You look BEAUTIFUL, then and NOW!
You are such a wonderful friend and MOTHER!
May this Mother’s Day be one of the best with more to come in years!
YOU ROCK, MOMMY!
Golly Gosh Dennis who’da thort a big hat kood bring on such a grim serkumstans (Dixie, get away from the keyboard it’s my turn at the moment)
Yo ho ho did you get a bottle of rum.
Rice Pirates… Sam thinks he could sink his teeth into those…
You make a great pirate. Ho ho ho. Now you just need a parrot.
There is only one thing to do; make them into Rice Crispies.
Does basmati rice or orzo have salmon in it?