The Oceanside Animals
And their imaginary friends
Star League
Having been plucked from the vast Costco parking lot by the mysterious recruiter Centauri, I now find myself speeding through space toward a rendezvous with my destiny: To join the Rylan Star League, become a starfighter, and destroy Darth Tater. Fame and glory await! When I complete my mission and get back to the university, all the professors in the philosophy and English departments will be even more jealous of me than they are of Indiana Jones!
As we approach the gleaming, high-tech space station where the Rylan Star League makes its headquarters, I can’t help but notice that it bears an odd resemblance to a decidedly low-tech icon of earth culture.
Despite this bizarre coincidence, Centauri assures me that we are in the right place. We make our way to the docking bay at the base of the bowling pin, where I am picked up and escorted to a sitting room to wait with other prospective starfighters, where I immediately begin bonding with my fellow-warriors.
Finally, my name is called, and I proceed into the inner sanctum of the Rylan Star League. However, it seems that there is yet another hurdle to overcome before I will be given a starfighter and turned loose to wreak destruction upon my starch-nemesis, the evil Darth Tater, and his deadly Death Spud.
I am led into a darkened room, smelling of stale cigarette smoke, with classic 70s rock playing tinnily from unseen speakers in the ceiling. As I begin to wonder if there might be some mistake, the lights suddenly come up, and all is revealed. Or is it?
The one called The Dude clarifies who my bowl-off opponent will be, and the full gravity of the situation finally becomes clear:
Yes, I must face the dreaded Jesus Quintana, known as The Jesus, in single bowling, or I will not be given my starfighter! Without using a single expletive, The Jesus has made it clear that he will give me no quarter, so I must do the same; because I am Dennis the Vizsla, and I never give up!
Share this:
22 Comments on “Star League”
Leave us a woof or a purr!
Hipsters, Lulu, & Company
Thank you Petcretary Ingrid of Meezer’s Mews & Terrieristical Woofs!
Recent Comments
Well, this took a turn that I wasn’t expecting! Dennis, how are you going to bowl without thumbs? This isn’t quite like flyball, you know!
LikeLike
🙂 The bowling shoes and the theme bowling balls is a nice touch. And it’s always good to see the Dude in action. I never thought I’d see the Star Wars plot intertwine with The Big Lebowsky. Nice. Maybe if you introduce a timetravel element, The Visla Dog can meet Dr. Roo.
LikeLike
Uhhh, Dennis? If there ever WAS a time to give up, this might be it!
Just see if you can get a ride home with these guys, won’t you?
Kisses,
Stella
LikeLike
Yoda vs. Hello Kitty. It’s not too late to retreat with honor.
LikeLike
haha—that’s awesome 🙂 I love that second pic where everyone’s wearing big-ass bowling shoes—so funny.
LikeLike
Watch out for his gun Dennis….his gun!!!!! If you hear “click” you are in big trouble 😦
LikeLike
Be careful Dennis…be very, very careful!!
Smileys & Snuggles!
Dory, Jacob and Bilbo
LikeLike
This should be very interesting. Be careful, Dennis, but don’t give up!
Woos – Phantom, Thunder, and Ciara
LikeLike
Costco, bowl-offs….I’m learning more about US pop culture from you than years of marriage to a Yankee!
LikeLike
Dennis, remember, “Don’t Panic” and bring your own towel. You shall prevail!
LikeLike
dennis,
i think bumper bowling might be your only hope!
*woof*
the booker man
LikeLike
huh..
finally your turn and uep you get to ues the yoda ball! This is fate.. as I remember a quote from Yoda…
Try not. Do or do not, there is no try.
— Yoda
It’s your time Dennis
norwood
LikeLike
The Jesus! Ohhh, Jesus!
I am sure you can do it better than him, Dennis!
Kisses and hugs
Lorenza
LikeLike
Maybe you can get a leisure suit like Jesus, Dennis. It would go so well with your Fedora. And why do I have a sudden urge for a white Russian??
Sugars,
Mack
LikeLike
I do not know Dennis, it might be impossible to defeat Hello Kitty!
LikeLike
oh oh dennis
Kissslobbers
El’bow & Hauwii
LikeLike
BOL… luv the hello kitty ball 🙂
Licks, hero
LikeLike
Hehehe…you can take him Dennis!!
Nala
LikeLike
It might be hard to throw the ball without a thumb!
LikeLike
UH OH! Dennis is in trouble now! Everyone knows that you don’t $#@& with the Jesus!!
LikeLike
Loving the outfit and Hello Kitty ball.
LikeLike
Pingback: Mad Ants Beyond Sugardome: Round Two | Dennis's Diary of Destruction