Having finally vanquished Darth Tater, and serendipitously discovering a derelict Doghouse of Justice on Planet Petco, I have at last returned to Earth in triumph; but when I report in to Dr. Crowe, expecting a hero’s welcome, I learn some unexpected and disquieting facts about what has been going on while I was offworld. Absence, it seems, does not always make the heart grow fonder …
My debriefing with Dr. Crowe starts out bad, and rapidly gets worse.
The shock! The horror! They took away my office and sold all my stuff! Is this the thanks due a returning hero?
Now that my hackles are up, I — perhaps unwisely — decide to confront this usurper who has taken my office. After Darth Tater and the Orzo Outlaws, I am not afraid of the politics of academia!
I proceed down the hall to my office, enter, and lay down; but the new professor is not content to let sleeping dogs lie.
And soon I find myself in the president’s office, where I am given one chance to regain my position in the archeology department.
A golf tournament, eh? Well, after the stinging defeat I delivered to The Jesus in our bowling match, I should be able to make short work of this sweaty fellow. After all, I am Dennis the Vizsla, and I never give up. Let the games begin! Umm … next week, that is.