Having returned last week from my long sojourn in space, only to discover that my position at the university has been eliminated and my office reassigned, I am now faced with the daunting task of winning back all that I have lost … by playing the all-too-human game of golf. And unlike the time I accidentally turned flyball into a human sport, there is no way for me to fix things by changing the past. I must compete on human terms, or lose my office, my position, and my key to the faculty lounge … forever.
Before the tournament even begins, it quickly becomes obvious that the my devious foe will stop at nothing to gain himself an advantage in our golf match.
Not being familiar with the rules of golf, I foolishly agree, and we head for the first hole to begin the tournament. Along the way, Thornton Melon’s partner, Ty Webb, despite being my opponent, kindly explains the rules of the game to me.
It appears that I have been badly mistaken about what variety of golf we are in fact going to be playing. And not only that, but Thornton Melon’s partner is obviously some sort of Zen golf master. How can I hope to win this match?
I follow Ty as he wanders the course in his blindfold, until it becomes apparent that he has no idea where he is going. Fortunately a groundskeeper happens by and offers us a lift to the snack bar.
But what’s the hurry? A nice drive around the golf course would also be relaxing.
Unfortunately, when we finally reach the snack bar, I discover an unpleasant scene waiting for me. But, surprisingly, my opponent Ty Webb rises to my defense.
And so, strangely enough, the game of golf with clubs and balls has turned into a game of flying discs. This changes everything — my lack of thumbs will no longer be such an impediment. Perhaps I will be able to win my office back after all — because I am Dennis the Vizsla, and I never give up!
The Oceanside Animals 
Good luck, Dennis!
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I think you can out play them all!
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I see many frisbee interceptions being made by Dennis in this upcoming match!
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I like to see easy come-easy go guys like that who don’t mind changing the game around.
Go to it, Dennis!
Kisses,
Stella
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excelent Dennis, now you have to explain the new sport to us flyball racers!
and hey Dennis, have you changed colors? Where is the doggie language? naughty!!!!
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A philosopher dog is obviously without peer.
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I’m all right, don’t have to worry bout me…
Love that movie! And Dennis will prevail!
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You’re awesome, Dennis!
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I’d like golf if it was played that way!
Sam
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I saw the original film at the movie theatre. I like this re-write better.
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I’m jealous—I’ve always wanted to see this one on the big screen…
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Wooos! It takes a Dennis to make golf interesting.
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Why would you EVER want to be the ball? All the balls in our house get goobered on and chewed on by certain puppies who shall remain nameless. Eesh. Good luck in getting your office back.
*kissey face*
-Fiona and Abby the Mutant Puppy
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Bet you could sell this new golf format to the TV stations!
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That’s cool. Good luck on your game.
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Good thing you were wearing ear protection!
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I want to play golf, too, so I can get a birdie.
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You are quite the amazing dog!
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Dennis
Hey it’s your favorite reeder norweed. Umm nice work evolutionizing the game of golf but I’m curious… without thumbs how can you fire that high powered rifle at the gophers? And hey wow, maybe you can play frisbee gopher instead!
okay… nice work
norwood
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Remember, Dennis — you can’t touch it with your foot. Or your hand. Or your teeth.
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hahaha—this is awesome! One of my all-time favorite movies…
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