swimming lessens!!!

hello nice reederz its dennis the vizsla dog hay now sum of yoo hav may hav herd roomers that i am not a gud swimmer i hav no ideea how theez roomers got started but mama has tayken it upon herself to fiks this so calld problem chek it owt!!!

at first it lukd like this wood be just another fun tennis bal type eevent as yoo can see on akkownt of mama is showing me a tennis bal before we git started


however it soon bekaym appairent that sumthing els wuz afoot!!!

wot the heck is that funny kote for???

the nekst thing i noo i wuz beeing bundeld into a kleerly ekspeerimental flotayshun device type thing!!!

i no red is my kolor but i am not too shoor abowt this garmint!!!

and then i wuz mayd to stand dayndjerusly klose to the edje of the pool!!!

why do i hav to ware this thik kote??? and is that water over their?!?!?!?

hay how abowt we go to the mooveez insted of doing this???

this is my seeryus fayse. seeryusly do not put me in the water.

and then the hyoomans inklooding mama akchooally went in the pool!!! of there own volishun no less!!!

yeah ok yoo guys hav fun with that i wil be over heer if ennywun needs me

pool wot pool i do not see enny pool

oh my luk at this intresting thing on the floor

i am not shoor having a lap is wurth this

hay mama yoo no hoo reely likes laps??? tucker reely likes laps!!! i wil go git him!!!

oh my luk at all this intresting riting on that wite bord say can sumwun pleez call 911 for me???

my frend vegas offerd to tayk over for me in the pool hay vegas sownds gud come on in the water is fine!!!

unfortchoonatly krool krool mama denied my attempt to tap owt

and the nekst thing i noo i wuz beeing kerried like a peese of luggadj!!!

Dog With Handle Is Being Handled

having a handle mayks it hard to git away espeshly wen wun is floting!!! and then mama mayd me swim in sirkles chek it owt!!!

hmmm let me tayk a moment to think abowt this

wot wood my hero jerry lundegaard do in this sitchooayshun???

oh hang on sorry i need to go owt and do a lot kownt yeah thats the tikkit

"He's fleeing the interview!"

but mama wood not let me do a lot kownt krool krool mama!!!

this isnt happening this isnt happening this isnt happening

oh wayt wot is that???


ok i do like bals but i dont like them that much

just giv me the bal and we wil call it eeven

the moral of the storry is that if yoo do not no how to swim just stay owt of the water that way no wun wil ever find owt yoo cant swim and they wil not try to teetch yoo!!! ok bye

47 thoughts on “swimming lessens!!!

  1. Dennis. SHould I laugh or cry. That was one sorry sight seeing you being dragged around by the handle. On the other hand, seeing you not knowing how to swim is kind of sad too. Wow! Even the tennis ball didn’t tempt you.

    Do you think you will have to sign up for swim lessons now and go every week? Mama was nice to get in the pool with you (although I could not see her life jacket handle). When PeeWee went to swim club he just got in the water with some lady who looked like a seal.

    Lucky for me those lifejackets do not come in mastiff size. Hehehe.



  2. Oh my dear friend!!!
    Thank you for letting me know of this torture you had to face!
    Because my human wants me to face it too!!!
    She already called a pool in Milan since there are none in Verona where they teach us doggies to swim… I am supposed to go there in september…

    I really loved your face in the photoes and in the video – you can express so well your feelings! But you did really great! I mean you have been swimming a lot!

    You last suggestion is absolutely true, but what if you end up in a house where they have an old pool and the human is scared you might fall into it and she knows you don’t swim?
    She is a pain and wants you to learn…
    Plus she is a big burden to the other human too as she wants to put fences everywhere…
    As if I did not know where to put my paws… phew… we miss some fundamental RESPECT in my house!

    Take care and congrats – you did really good!
    Ciao Lucille


  3. OMD! this is the best post EVER! that serious face almost keeeellled me! seriously i will NOT put you in the water! Did samsonite make your coat? who puts a handle on a coat anyway?

    i’m so envious of you learning to swim. i need to teach Loki and Juno. for some reason, i think it will be a cold day in heck before i get the cracker in a pool. i have a better chance of getting the sibe in there!

    Great job though. hope you keep it up. more vids of that!

    ps. you have a round apple bottom just loki Loki. all muscle, no floof to hold you up. that’s why the coat and handle i think. it’s for dogs with not enough floof to keep them above water! tee hee…


  4. Dennis!

    Come over to my place! I’ll teach you how to swim… I’ve taught many labs how and they are very appreciative! And I’ll tell you my secret – a floaty! They are also called a bumper… I won’t go swimming for anything else but once my mom got me my floaty, I can’t be stopped! AND if she takes too long to throw it, I start crying!

    Sam and Pippen

    PeeS. Pip doesn’t swim but stands on the sidelines doing lifeguard duty… he takes it very seriously as you saw in the Wordless Wednesday photo!


  5. Dennis: Wooooow! I am very proud of you for trying because swimming is really good exercise annd you know how much I like to swim because I think Labradors are made for swimming and maybe Vizlaas aren’t really swimmers you know what I mean, huh? Huh? Huh? and maybe you would like swimming in a lake or pond better because you can try to catch fishes like Shamoooooo and such things but I really like to swim and i’m sorry you don’t and you shouldn’t let Tucker or Trixie or Trouble call you a swimming sissy or anything because the “Labradork” Cosmo doesnt really like to swim that much and it took him many tries to get in the water and when he did he tried to drowned me. Ok. Your friend Clover


  6. Dude! Good try anyway! Just don’t pee in the pool, ok? It will make the water turn blue or purple and everyone will snicker and point at you and make fun of you. Seriously,
    Your friend, Cosmo.


  7. Poor Dennis! I see the problem- you need a much bigger pool & better toys & a nice bright sunshine to enhance the swimming experience. Come swim with Mia & Zoe any time 🙂


  8. Dennis you are very brave. I’m proud of you. Shadow loves to swim (he’s a Lab) but Sheba HATES! water. She won’t even go out into the rain. I think your mama loves you.


  9. Brave boy Dennis!

    Half of us at Dog Woods don’t like swimming. But Joe and ol’ Trixie used to spend alot of time paddling about in the pool until the chief decided to do away with pool.

    Licks and wags

    The Dog Woods Pack


  10. We are so so sorry that you haves such a mean and krool mommy. But we gots to say we had a few laughs at yer expense. So sorry.

    We have them garmints too but just so we don’t get drowneded. As mommy says ‘shar pei don’t swim (cept Hero) they sink’

    Bobo and Meja


  11. Mom says if you would come live with us, she would not make you swim ever. But then she’d want to give you lots of kisses. So it might be a tuff choice.

    She says she really wants to give that sad mug a big old smooch!


  12. Hi Dennis,

    Learning to swim is very scary, so you did a good job. The first time I swam was in a little pond when I chased a birdie into it and scared my mom to death. The second time was in my breeder Miss Melissa’s pool. I felt left out because the other Vs, my mom, dad, Melissa, and Jason were all in the pool, so I jumped in. Later that summer, I went swimming in the pool down in the Outer Banks: my dad was in the pool, so I jumped in. And now, I love swimming! Anything with waves still freaks me out, but streams, rivers, lakes, ponds, and pools are awesome!

    Maybe go to the store and pick up a special water toy for the swim lessons? Some of my other friends have things like water wubbas and bumpers that helped distract and motivate them while they learned to swim.



  13. DENNNNNNNNIS…. buddy you gots the S Act same swimming vest thingy that I (Frankie Furter) have!!!! I Love to wade in the waters butt I hate H A T E it when my feets are off the bottom. So I’m thinkin’ you and I are like…. TWINS. You did goooood big guy.


  14. We think you need to learn to swim. Otherwise the “dog paddle” will become the “cat paddle” and they get enough stuff named after them.


  15. Oh Dennis, you were so very brave! We loved seeing your video – you swam right round that pool. Now we are wondering if we should get Martha a floaty thing – most bassets can’t swim but Martha gets herself into deep water a lot!
    We think swimming lessons are very important! They could keep you safe.
    Martha and Bailey xxx


  16. So sweet you did such a good job. Funny Makwa looks away like that sometimes it’s like she saying If I don’t look at it maybe everything will just disapear making things invisable. What a day. Thanks for sharing the photos and video with us. ;+)


  17. Dennis
    I was so wowwied fow you..being tweated like luggadge and evewything, but then i wemembewed that I like to swim and think you should stick wif those lessosns..honest..it’s nothing like a baf(YUCK!) but if you still don’t like it, I hope you don’t have to go again
    smoochie kisses


  18. Oh dennis, this is sooo cool! You got to swim in that very cool indoor poolie. I think that is nifty and you got a floaty coat to wear.
    All of this is great for you… not me, no sirrreee



  19. Peri and Lorelai Gilmore think you are so brave and they know swimming is an enormous amount of fun, so your Mum is doing a great job teaching you!!! Still, you poor thing, the indignity of a PFD with a handle!!!


  20. Dennis, we could let you borrow the hot pink PFD we have here if you want to take a dip out at Fiesta Island! I hear practice makes perfect, so maybe after a few trips with your ball to the jacuzzi you’ll be the next Michael Phelps. Just don’t smoke any funny weeds like he did! That must have been some conversation you were having with Mama there in that last picture!


  21. Dear Dennis,
    I say, my good dog, I am most grateful I left before seeing you subjected to this! My mother thinks this sort of thing is, in her stupid human language, “the most darling, cute, sweet, funny post in the history of dog swimming!” Bosh! One day cats and dogs will rule the world, then we will show these foolish, albeit lovable, humans who’s boss.
    Your friend,
    Philippe =(^O^)=


  22. HAHAHAHAHA!!!! *ahem* A life jacket? Seriously? Is that a fashion statement?!? And that handle? That’s just humiliating! Erm. Sorry. I don’t mean to make you feel bad, but your Mom made you do that rather than take you to the movies? You would think they torture you enough at home… Me, I know how to swim, but choose not to when there is the potential that the Loch Ness Monster could emerge at any minute. But Abby. Um, sorry, but she can’t control the snickering. (I’ll whack her around a bit for you.) Um. Anyway. Maybe you can get your Mom to take you to the park next time? (A park without water, that is..) I’m just saying… Oh, we were VERY impressed with your serious face, BTW. We definitely will take you seriously. Except when you’re wearing that life jacket!!! ;-D

    *kissey face*
    -Fiona and Abby the Mutant Demonic Swimming Puppy


  23. No swimming for me either. I do have that coat too, but my Momma’s not gonna carry me by the handle like yours did.

    woof – Tucker


  24. Oh, Dennis: Its too bad you are not a Minniesnowda Vizsla since if you were you would know how to swim without he Floatey Kote. In our state we have 10,000 lakes, you gotta know how to get around in water! With the floatey kote all you have to do is have it fastened and then work your feets, boom! you are swimming. I hope you stick with it and learn to swim!

    Stella, who swims and NEVER had a floatey kote.


  25. Oh Dennis – you got swimming lessons too! This brought back my swimming lessons last year in Auckland! Hee! Hee! I like the way you were trying to climb out of the pool at every opportunity! HA! A dog after my own heart! 🙂

    I think you did awesome! You’re lucky you’re small enough that you could sit on your human’s lap to begin with and then she could sort of hold you up in the water – my human had the swimming teacher helping and they STILL couldn’t hold me up…so I sorta had to just swim or sink! 🙂 (I don’t think my lifejacket was really big enought to do much for me!)

    Anyway, I was a MUCH better swimmer at the beach after my lessons so I’m sure you will be too!

    Hey – by the way – my human says to tell your Dada that if you’re ever thinking of changing to your own website, take a deep breath and prepare to go under for at least a week!!! 🙂 It was horrible during that time – mainly because she felt completely lost and confused and didn’t even know what questions to ask – but now that it’s all over, she says it feels like a great sense of achievement. But I don’t know if yours would be as complicated unless you’re using your own domain name as the primary domain, like I did? I never used my URL with the “wordpress.com” in it so that’s what made it complicated – I had to keep my domain the same (bighoneydog.com) but point it to a new place and that’s why I was gone for 48hrs. But most people would simply have to put up a post saying “Here is the new link for my blog” – and give a new address without “wordpress” or “blogspot” in the name – and so it would probably be much simpler. They would just be starting from scratch with a new address, rather than trying to change where the address pointed to…if that makes sense? BUt anyway, even if you go to your own site, you can still use your WordPress software (that’s what I’m doing) and just import your old blog across. The only things which don’t import well are the pictures and videos which is a pain – so that’s the really big job. We’ve left all our pictures “hotlinked” to my old blog which is still on WordPress.com (but set to ‘Private’ now) – ie. they still live there but are linked to my new blog – and when Hsin-Yi has time, she’ll slowly go through my posts and replace all the pictures with a newer version that’s uploaded into my new blog. Anyway, we wanted to add a copyright watermark to all photos so I guess this will force us to do it!
    Hope I’ve made sense and not confused you even more!

    Honey the Great Dane


  26. You did very well Dennis. Even my wife Michelle who thinks blogging is silly came & read this post & thought it was cute & funny. I’m sure if you persist with it you will soon be able to swim without the experimental flotation luggage bag. Keep up the gud werk


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