Having evidently been digitized by a bolt of lightning and bodily transferred into the iPhone, I now find myself in the curious position of being a dog in the body of a human — or rather, a computerized rendition of a human. Although this situation interests me from an techno-anthro-canopological standpoint, I do have more pressing concerns at the moment. For instance, in a digital world, where does one find stuffies? Plus there is the small matter of the impending Disc Match of Death …
Although I am fascinated by the possibilities presented by having fingers and, most especially, thumbs, I am unfortunately given very little time to acclimate to my new state; it seems the world inside the computer is just as overscheduled as the world without, if not more so.
I take my disc and proceed out to the field of battle, where a rookie mistake puts me at an immediate disadvantage.
Before I can recover, my mysterious opponent, moving with incredible speed and accuracy, knocks out several of the rings that keep me from plummeting to my doom! Who is this gladiator that is about to send Dennis the Vizsla down to ignominious defeat?
But then I am saved in the nick of time by an operating system limitation!
Moments later I find myself in a new, even more thrilling contest!
I must drive and not just ride — but how can I drive while I have my head stuck out the window? Is this what they call multitasking? I will find a way to do both, and to triumph in this bizarre environment; because I am Dennis the Vizsla, and I never give up!