Having braved various traps and snares, dead ends, attitude-laden bouncers, and water slides, the Goonies and I finally reached the fabled pirate ship deep beneath the Goondocks; but no sooner did we discover the treasure than Ma Fratelli and her gang arrived to make us walk the plank. Not even the massively clawed Creature from the Black Lagoon dares raise a hand against the fearsome Ma, so it looks like we will be getting wet again, while the Fratellis make off with the pirate treasure. Or will they … ?
Why will no one act against Ma Fratelli? She is armed with the fearsome Chicken Gun, that’s why.
The last time I went up against the Chicken Gun it ended quite disastrously; it’s an experience I don’t care to repeat. Unfortunately that kid Data keeps squirming out of the way when I try to hide behind him, so it looks like we will have no choice but to comply with Ma Fratelli’s demands. But then, just when all seems lost, a hero arrives to save the day!
Seemingly immune to the effects of the Chicken Gun, the Toxic Avenger makes short work of Ma Fratelli and her gang, allowing the Goonies, the Creature, and me to escape from the caverns carrying a good portion of the pirate treasure with us!
Yes it is a happy ending for everyone except for the Fratellis and that evil developer who wanted to take the Goonies’ homes away! I wonder what his scheme was, anyway …
Egad! Well, this just goes to show that when getting involved in conflicts among alien cultures in California, one must make sure to get fully informed about the issues before taking sides. An important anthropological lesson, which I temporarily forgot. But there will be other adventures, and I will choose my friends more carefully … because I am Dennis the Vizsla, and I never give up!