After being shuffled from Potions to Magical Creatures, I have tried to give the students the benefit of my extensive experience with various beasts and varmints unknown to the general muggle population. Unfortunately, it appears that the children are not interested in learning about such things, and I once again am summoned before Dean Santa to explain myself.

I attempt to educate Santa on the nature of the ninja hedgehogs, but my words are disregarded.

It certainly is difficult trying to convince the hidebound bureaucracy of facts that do not fit their preconceived notions of how the world works and who can and cannot be a ninja.

Fortunately, Dogwarts is still having difficulty attracting and retaining qualified staff, and rather than being let go I am transferred to yet another new department. As this is not my area of expertise, I decide to bring in outside assistance this time.

Surely this time the children will appreciate my efforts! After all, I am Dennis the Vizsla, and I never give up.

23 thoughts on “Herbology

  1. I think they should have left you teaching the kids about the dangers of ninja hedgehogs. I mean, you’ve got years of data on the existence of ninja hedgehogs and the havoc they wreak. (Speaking of reeking… Oy. You should have your DEA dog in there if you are going to be teaching the kids about certain “herbs”. Oh. Wait. You live in the mythical state of California where such herbs are semi-legal. I don’t think the local living prophet has received a revelation that would make such herbs legal for medicinal purposes in Utah… *ahem* Hey… I’ve already blasphemed once today – what’s another?)

    *kissey face*
    -Fiona (you might not want to stand too close to me in case God is a little off-target with those lightning bolts) and Abby the Hippobottomus


  2. Hey Dennis!
    I’m with you…this guy sure looks like santa to me. Herbology could be fun, I mean think of the digging involved! Maybe you could turn up some catnip and sell it for some kitty profit!
    Grr and Woof,


  3. Nobody said anything nice about your jacket, Dennis? Okay… that’s a really nice jacket! And wasn’t one of those herb experts in From Dusk Till Dawn?



  4. I chuckled at the patchouli comment also! And Dennis Muggles drive me crazy. I can’t think of any other part of the population that I would rather see, well I won’t go there. I know the term originated with Harry Potter, but I am talking about the geocaching type.

    Whoops! Just caught a typo in my comment. It is a good thing I caught it too since there does not seem to be a way to edit comments after posting. I wrote “I chucked at the patchouli comment”!


  5. Well, Herbology appears to be fraught with peril for you, too. It would be one of Abby’s favorite classes, as she lives to dig and loves to eat almost anything that grows in or falls on the ground. Trust you to find guest lecturers who will probably result in your doing 5 large without the option of a fine. Maybe the ninja hedgehogs will do you a solid and eat the evidence before the Augers get to your class room. [Augers seem to be the closest thing to magical cops, to the best of our memory and belief].

    Jed & Abby


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