hello nice reederz its dennis the vizsla dog hay first i wood like to thank evrywun hoo offerd simpathee and sugjestchuns for how to deel with the terrifying parakeet wot invayded my howse!!! fortchoonatly mama has tayken the parakeet “to the classrum” witch i am pritty shoor is a yoofamizm for “put it in the deep fryer” ha ha ha ha ha ha ok ennyway i am sorry i hav not ben arownd dada is stil wurking on his silly buk witch meenz he duz not hav time to properly dokyooment all my adventchers however he did not say i cud not do skolarly treetises!!! now intrestingly altho dada duz not hav time to rite up my adventchers apparently he has time to go hayng owt in the desert witch is a horrid eevil nasty playse!!! so now i wood like to present a skolarly treetis on why wun shud never ever go to the desert chek it owt!!!
ok wel first yoo may be wundring wot the desert is so heer let me show yoo a pikcher of ware my sorses tel me mama and dada sneakd off to withowt us last week!!!
it luks pritty ok frum heer rite??? eksept for that misteeryus red finger thing wot is abowt to smash the greenhowse or wotever that is??? wel lets tern arownd and see wot the desert luks like in the other direkshun shall we???
hay tucker no wun is talking abowt dessert!!! ok so as yoo can see in the desert their is a hole lot of nuthing or is their??? lets tayk a luk at sum of the horrors wot awayt the unwary sap wot travels to the desert!!!
yoo hav got dedly rope snayks!!!
and yoo hav got things with spines all over them!!!
aaaiiiieeeeeeeee a bird!!!! run away run away run away!!!
woo that wuz a close wun!!! i need sumthing to calm my nervs maybe a pikcher of dada in his jigantik hat wil do the trik!!!
ha ha ha ha nice hat dada!!! ok i feel better so lets git bak to the horrors of the desert like eevil alien pods wot attatch themselves to yore shooz and wont let go!!!
ummm dada ar yoo shoor that attempting to remoov the eevil alien pod with yore bare hands is sutch a gud ideea??? oh and by the way nice hat!!!
and wot do we hav heer??? aaiiieeeee its ninja hedjhog kaktus!!! run away run away run away!!!
woo that wuz anuther close wun!!! lets git owt of heer and go sumware sayfer maybe that big wide open flat areea over their!!!
hmmm eeven the layk didnt want to hayng owt heer and it is just a buntch of water!!! but at leest their ar no scarry kaktus or eevil alien pods or holy crap wot is that?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!
aaiiiieeee jiant bird!!!! run away run away run away holy crap wot is that?!?!?!?!?!
aaaaiiiiieeeee jiant petrified lizard hed or sumthing!!! run away run away run away hay wot is that stuf on the grownd?!?!?!?!?!
aaiiieeee foxtails!!!! run away run away kwik bak to the car lets git the heck owt of this awful playse before we all die or sumthing!!! ahhhh mutch better we ar hedding bak to the mithical sitty of julian and then we wil go home and hay wot is that wite stuf on the grownd???
hay trixie luk its snow!!! i bet yoo wood like to go lie in it huh??? too bad mama and dada left us all home!!! wel of korse no trip to julian is kompleet withowt a visit to the julian pie shop or so i am told!!!
and so yoo as yoo kan see i hav deesiceivly demonstrayted that their is nuthing gud that can come frum going to the desert!!! ok bye