wen life hands yoo lemons or emty kitty litter bags yoo mayk lemonayd!!!

hello nice reederz its dennis the vizsla dog hay wel as i am shoor yoo ar all awayr my sister trouble the kitty went away a fyoo weeks ago thus interrupting my eksplorayshun of the misteeryus sivilizayshun off the koast of kalifornya having mayd my way bak to the maynland to attend her memoryal serviss and the reeding of the wil i am now attemting to finans a reeturn trip to the abandond iland of catalinatlantis!!! how am i dooing that yoo ask??? wel lets just say it is capitalizm at its finast!!!

wile sum naysayers may kwestchun my bizness plan i hav grate confidens that it wil wurk!!!

shoor and i bet they thawt harrison ford wuz crazy too wen he got into the awto manyoofakchooring bizness and luk how that ternd owt now he is a ritch and faymus moovee star!!!

hmmm my sister trixie mite be a gud alpha dog but she is not a verry gud negoshiaytor!!!

fortchoonatly my mad bizness skilz mayk up for her na … naivet … her lak of mad bizness skilz!!!

oh crap its the revenuers!!!

wel i for wun am not going to tayk this taks owtraydj lying down!!!

Later …

say duz ennywun no a gud taks loyer??? ok bye

15 thoughts on “wen life hands yoo lemons or emty kitty litter bags yoo mayk lemonayd!!!

  1. Sarge says:

    Hey Dennis!
    Wow, I think you’re a great salesdog! Harrison Ford would be so proud. Your cellmate, Bugs, is a rascal and I bet he can find a tax loophole…which I’m sure is a lot like a rabbithole…and will save you! Give him a carrot and he’ll help you out! If all else fails, try an under-the-table payoff to those hedgehogs. Shhhh
    Grr and Woof,
    Sarge, COP

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  2. Oh, Dennis, that is probably the fastest moneymaking scheme you’ve ever hatched. And you were foiled by revenue agents. We hope the check doesn’t bounce so Trixie can use it to make your bail.

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  3. Ooops. I think you should have just paid off, ah, paid your taxes to the ninja hedgehogs and been done with it. Unless sales tax is like 1000% in California. Which it totally could be. However, I’d be a little nervous about taking a check. Just saying…

    *kissey face*
    -Fiona and Abby the Hippobottomus

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  4. Well, this is usually the point where Trouble the Kitty would throw in some nefarious part of the plot, so maybe if Trixie orders you a lawyer this time, things will go smoothly!

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  5. Stella says:

    What makes you think that Trouble WON’T be back. She always turns up, and I have never seen her just disappear. In her last will and testament, all she gave away was junk she didn’t want anymore. She will probably turn up there in jail, whether she is in her former body or that of a ghost, she will be along soon.

    By the way, Ali Z is wondering when her cat cup tank will be arriving. Any idea about that, Dennis?

    Kisses,
    Stella

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  6. Wow Dennis – what a great idea! I bet people can do tons of things with empty litter bags – they can use them when they clean up their yards after us. Plus, us dogs can shred them. That’s worth a hundred bucks right there! – Your friends, Leah, Toby, & Meadow

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  7. Jed & Abby in MerryLand says:

    In addition to the tax hogs being after you, Abby the Legal Beagle Extraordinaire bets you didn’t have a permit for the sidewalk business and haven’t paid your federal and state income taxes, or your FICA taxes. OK, here’s Abby’s first suggestion for your defense: you can’t get an SSN or TIN because you can’t sign your name, and you can’t pay taxes without an SSN or TIN. Second, you are technically a minor because the courts don’t do dog years, so this is entirely your dada’s problem as your legal guardian. Third, as you inherited the kitty bags, you get a stepped up basis value so you only owe taxes on any appreciation from the date of inheritance to the date of sale, nd Abby expects that is zero or even a negative number. Ipso facto, you don’t owe any tax on disposing of this inherited asset. Abby is not actually admitted to the California Bar, but she’s willing to overlook that if you are. Abby works for liver treats, but is open to negotiaton.

    Jed & Abby

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