Repeat Sunday: The Pits

hello nice reederz its dennis the vizsla dog hay wel i am stil heer keeping an eye on the gests to mayk shoor they dont akisdently eet enny treets wot they ment to giv to me so heer is another reepeet chosen by the faymus random dot org randum number jeneraytor!!!  this is a publik serviss annownsement wot orijinally appeerd way bak in the mithikal yeer 2008!!!  ok bye

The following is a public service announcement from No-Sweat brand squeak-toy deodorants and antiperspirants.

It has recently come to our attention that some users of No-Sweat brand deodorants and antiperspirants may experience a slight acidic effect under heavy stress, such as when being energetically squeaked, chewed on, thrown, or violently shaken back and forth by a dog that thinks it can break your neck if it only tries hard enough.  This acidic effect may be manifested as a vinegar-like odor or discoloration or, in extreme cases, actual disintegration of the wearer’s arm pits.  This recall affects deodorants and antiperspirants in the following scents:  Cheese, Butter, Poo, New York Strip Steak, and Patchouli.

If you are currently using No-Sweat deodorants or antiperspirants that are subject to this warning, please discontinue use immediately and return the remaining product for a coupon good for one (1) free bottle of No-Sweat brand squeak toy cologne, which we assure you is completely safe and not at all likely to turn you into a thick yellow spray during a vigorous game of tug.  Please choose from Bacon, Poo, Skunk, or Wet Dog scent.

We apologize for any inconvenience.

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What a senseless waste of squeak toy life.

8 thoughts on “Repeat Sunday: The Pits

  1. Those squeaky toys just aren’t tough enough to have any fun with in my experience. Just give me the organic dead fish. Artificial scents are not good for you. the Spirit of Maggie the Vizsla

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  2. Well, Dennis, there is really nothing that will undermine the structural integrity of a stuffie faster than mastiff slobber. Luckily, I no longer have that problem, but I will be on the alert for those inferior stuffies you seem to have at your place.

    Kisses,
    Dexter

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  3. Sarge says:

    Hey Dennis!
    Wow, what a fun re-postification! I’m hoping that the next new-and-improved scents will include dried-up-fishing-worm. Boy will that stink a place up. BOL
    Grr and Woof,
    Sarge, COP

    Like

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