Tucker Tuesday: When I Am Old


(with apologies to Jenny Joseph)


When I am an old dog I shall expect to be served
While wearing a tie-dyed bandanna covered with DAP,
And I shall spend my entire day under a soft blanket
Covered with bones, and get pills in Black Forest ham.
I shall pee on the patio when I am tired,
And steal food from Trixie’s bowl despite her growls,
And yammer at the couch when I think it’s bedtime,
No matter what is on television right now.
I shall refuse to go potty in the rain
And drink lots and lots and lots (and lots) of water,
Then hack and cough.
You can beg for food but refuse to take it,
Or eat three pounds of sausages at a go,
Or only Stella & Chewy’s for a week,
And hoard stuffies and pillows and blankets and swipe Xanax.
But now I must wear a cone so I do not lick,
And get fluids and supplements and potions,
And set a bad example for young Dennis.
I must demand that Dada give me his dinner.
But really I have been practicing all along.
And people who know me are not too shocked and surprised,
That suddenly I am old, and expect to be served.


27 thoughts on “Tucker Tuesday: When I Am Old

  1. Tucker, dude, you have earned it. Whatever you want. Dennis will just have to dog up and respect your age. Sending lots of hugs because I know things aren’t easy for you right now.



  2. Tucker, when TaiChi was still around and getting whatever she wanted, I’d always tell Fi, “When 500 years old you become, all the treats you want, you will get.” (Yeah, I’m a wee bit nerdy that way.) So dude, you get whatever you want, when you want – those privileges are earned when the muzzle turns gray, so tell Dennis to suck it up. 🙂

    -Dr. Liz, who doesn’t usually speak like Yoda, but it happens.


  3. OK Tucker, do whatever feels right to you. It will be Dennis’s turn soon enough, or maybe even Trixie’s although I am not sure I can see that giving soul as a demander. Keep your tired bones covered up, eat what you like and enjoy the time that is left.



  4. Dada sure knows how to get my tear ducts open, wish I were there to give you a kiss, Tucker. Accept all the treats you’re offered, if that’s not enough – beg!! Mimmier xoxox


  5. Black Forest Ham? You’re getting meds in Black Forest Ham?! You smart, smart puppy. Yum. Maybe I should rethink coming back as a spoiled house-cat and come back as a hound and find my way to your dada’s house in time for Black Forest Ham fun drugs…it’s a thought.


  6. Hi Tucker – sorry I’ve not been visiting for ages but I wanted to say thank you for this wonderful post. You said it, brother!! 😉 My human says your Dada is an amazing writer. And we think you are a wonderful inspiration to senior doggies everywhere.

    Thank you for popping over to visit me and your nice comment. It’s nice to have a friend to “be old” with together – hee! hee! 😛

    Honey the Great Dane


Leave us a woof or a purr!

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.