Trixie Tuesday: Handles

Because sometimes, an old lady needs help jumping into the car.

You know pawrents are the same
No matter time nor place
They don’t understand that us dogs
Are gonna get old and grey
So to you, all the dogs all across the land
There’s no need to argue
Pawrents just don’t understand

“Dennis gets a fancy suit. I get mountaineering gear.”

I remember one year
Mom took me harness shopping
It was me, my brother, my mom
Oh, my pop, and my brother’s stuffies
All hopped on the Mac.

“I feel like luggage.”

We headed online to Blue Dog Designs
My mom started bugging with the harness she chose
I didn’t say nothing at first
I just turned up my nose

“I’d best not be put into any overhead bins.”

She said, “What’s wrong? This harness costs many dollars.”
I said, “Mom, this has handles where it should have a collar.”
The next half hour was the same old thing
Mama buying me support gear instead of nice bling.

“Fine. I’ll wear the handles, and you can lift me into the car, and we’ll go somewhere fun.  Right?”

And then she lost her mind and did the ultimate
Instead of the car she lifted me into the bath
I said, “Mom, what are you doing, you’re ruining my rep!”
She said, “You’re only fifteen, you don’t have a rep yet.”

“I’m not sure I approve of the way this handle was used to ‘help em up’ into the tub.”

She wasn’t moved, everything stayed the same
Dada gave me a bath, could this day get more lame?
So to you all the dogs all across the land
There’s no need to argue
Pawrents just don’t understand

“Somebody’s going to pay for this. I think I’ll take it out on the squirrels.”

14 thoughts on “Trixie Tuesday: Handles

  1. Heheh. Nice rap! We actually think you look very high-tech with your Cyborg attachments! And we somehow doubt that your Mama and Dada will ever think of you as luggage (although being hoisted into) the bath is a tad insulting…. You are styling as ever, Trixie! (But still take it out on the squirrels – any reason is a good reason to go after the tree rats!)

    *kissey face*
    -Fiona and Abby the Hippobottomus


  2. Poor Trixie, tricked into having a bath!! Well, I hope they took you for and exciting drive to make up for that bit of trickery!


  3. Aw, Trixie, pawrents just don’t understand we have our pride too. But putting you in the bath instead of in the car to go somewhere fun was … embarrassing. We feel for you, Trxie.


  4. Miss Trixie, I admire your harness very much. I, too have to be lifted into the car (and onto the bed) and while mom and I have our routine, that harness is quite fashionable! I don’t think mom could lift me, though. BOL!!



  5. I doubt your folks consider you luggage, Miss Trixie. I checked out that website…I wonder if they make those for hoomans who have trouble getting up off the floor?! 😉 Miss Trixie, you’re a lucky girl that your pawrents love you so much. ♥



  6. They better make it up to you in a hurry and take you and Dennis for an ice cream cone, Trixie!
    No worries – we have strange contraptions around here too. The hoomans like to be prepared for little things.

    Love ya lots♥
    Mitch and Molly


  7. Awww I think your gear looks ultra cool and high tech! I bet it helped you make that awesome rap in some way… though, yes! that was a sneaky move for getting you into the bath I have to agree! Poor Trixie!
    Hugs, Carrie and pups x


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