hello nice reederz its dennis the vizsla dog hay sum may hav notisd in reesent pikchers that my bakyard is not as green as it yoozed to be bak wen trixie wuz keeping it sayf frum eevil perpetraytors and yoo no wot??? its troo!!! the fotografik evidense is inkontrovertibul!!!
now sum so kalld sientists wood hav us beleev that this degradayshun of my bak yard is relayted to sum sort of drowt and they eeven put together sum sort of chart to try to proov it chek it owt!!!
but seeryusly ar we suppozd to beleev wot tree rings tel us??? ware did the treez git theez rings ennyway??? i hav never seen a tree waring a ring not eeven that krazy ent wot showd up heer this spring wore rings and he had plenty of gold appels wot he cud hav had melted down to mayk joowelry and wotnot!!! and beesides luk at wot it wuz dooing heer last nite!!!
yes thats rite thats rain!!! so kleerly theez so kalld sientists ar just grasping at twigs to eksplayn why my bakyard is a mess theez days!!! and so i wil now preezent a skolarly treetis to help them owt!!!
first heer is the patty-o on wich my sister trixie yoozd to lay wile garding the yard frum evil perpetraytors and others wot wood do it harm!!!
wot we hav heer is kleerly sum sort of attempt to undermine the patty-o posibly for the purposes of planting eksplosivs!!! this is informayshun wot kannot be gleend frum lukking at mithikal tree rings but nevertheless we no hoo wood be dooing that dont we???
thats rite!!! bob the pyromaniak bilder hoo is no longer afrayd to enter the yard as it is no longer under trixies protekshun!!! and he brawt his littel bakhoe wich is no dowt reesponsibul for taring up all the grass and digging enny number of other holes!!! do yoo need more sientifik evidense that bob is reesponsibul for the problems in my yard??? i am happy to provide it!!!
hay!!! saya!!! git owt of the pikcher!!! i am trying to do siense heer!!! sheesh sum puppeez!!! ennyway as yoo kan see almost evryware their is a hole their is a backhoe!!! and okkayzhunally a skarry klown but the less sed abowt skarry klowns the better!!! ennyway i no wot yoo ar thinking yoo ar thinking okay dennis yoo hav konvinsd me that bob the pyromaniak bilder is trying to plant bombs underneeth yore patty-o on akkownt of he is a pyromaniak but wot abowt those holes in the yard and the shingles wot ar kovering sum of them up???
wile it seems unlikely that bob the pyromaniak bilder wood want to plant bombs ware their is nothing to blow up it is a fakt that i heer bombs going off all the time owtside!!! mama and dada always try to tel me it is just the neerby bayse praktising with artillery but it seems the trooth has finaly ben reeveeld they ar shooting missils into my yard to try to destroy yoo gessd it bob the pyromaniak bilder!!! and that is why he is always waring that silly helmet!!!
hay!!! saya!!! i am stil trying to do my skolarly treetis!!! wil yoo git away from bob the pyromaniak bilders netwurk of tunnels pleez??? sheesh kids theez days they hav no reespekt for the sientifik method!!!
fine saya yoo kan walk on the roof of bob the pyromaniak bilders undergrownd layr if yoo want to but yoo do so at yore own risk!!! onnestly i kannot git proper siense dun with that puppy running arownd interfering with my analittik prossess but i am shoor that by now i hav mayd evrywun unnerstand that the reel kawze of all theez problims in my yard is bob the pyromaniak bilder!!! toon in nekst week wen i wil attempt to eksplayn why the yard is also ful of paypers and cardbord and other trash as wel as beeing ful of holes!!! ok bye