RIP Jareth. I mean David Bowie. (Post originally appeared in 2009.)
After escaping from the FBI dungeon with the help of my new friend, Hoggle the Gnome, I have found myself in a strange subterranean maze, the likes of which have not been seen since the Minotaur roamed the labyrinth of Knossos. Although I am greatly relieved to be out of captivity, I find myself wondering if I have not traded one prison for another, vaster one, even more difficult to escape.
I have begun to wonder if my putative guide, Hoggle, actually knows his way around this confusing realm; we have spent several hours wandering through a vast hedge-maze and appear to be no closer to finding either Hoggle’s friend Sarah or our way out.
Eventually, even Hoggle is forced to admit that we are lost:
Fortunately, we eventually find our way out of the hall of the hideous eyeless white creature, only to be confronted by a new threat which Hoggle evidently finds even more terrifying.
At first, I don’t understand what Hoggle is afraid of; after all, the rest of the band is not present, so there is little danger that they will begin jamming. However, I soon learn that the one whom I took for the lead singer of an 80s hair band is, in fact, the powerful and dreaded Goblin King.
The Goblin King does not deign to repeat himself, so I am forced to guess how to respond. A wrong answer could well mean my death. Fortunately, I guess correctly.
Or did I?
I have evidently entered myself into the service of the Goblin King, charged to complete some deadly errand or quest that I didn’t even hear him explain. But I have no doubt that, whatever it is, I will be able to carry it out; because I am Dennis the Vizsla, and I never give up.