a skolarly treetis on pst!!!

hello nice reederz its dennis the vizsla dog hay as yoo may hav herd i hav ben going for pst treetments now i no wot yoo may be saying to yoreself yoo may be saying to yoreself self wot ar pst treetments??? wel seeing as i am now an ekspert on the matter i am heer to eksplayn it to yoo!!! now of korse the pst is the file format wot is yoozed by the notoryus bloteware mikrosoft owtluk evidently i hav sumthing rong with my pst file so the first thing we need to do is vizzit mikrosofts web site to reed up on how to repayr the inboks or better yet just git rid of owtluk and yooze sumthing els like mozilla thunderburp (ha ha ha thunderburp that is wot i do after i eet) to reed yore eemayl insted of — wot??? oh dada sez i am tawking abowt a kompleetly difrent kind of pst sorry i got sidetrakd their!!! no the pst we ar tawking abowt heer is pulsed signal therapy to regro kartiladj oops my bad!!! but i am bak on trak so ok lets go!!!

now of korse in order to reeseev the pst wun must be in the pst masheen and sitting stil for haff an owr however gitting a pst treetment is verry eksiting on akkownt of cookies cookies and mor cookies!!! cookies ar wun of my fayvrit things in the hole wide wurld!!! and so its posibul that lying down is not the first thing on my mind wen a pst sesshun starts!!!

however lying down is also wun of my fayvrit things in the hole wurld and i kan yoozhually be perswayded to do it!!!

this is the pst masheen!!! and it dubbelz as a stargate!!!
wot??? am too inside the masheen!!!
oh wel shoor if yoo luk at me frum this angle i am not inside the masheen but reely its all a matter of perspektiv

see i am lying down!!! but krool krool mama and dada wil not giv me cookies until i am akchooally lying down in the masheen akkording to the perspektiv of akchooally beeing in the masheen rather then beeing lukd at thru the opening of the masheen becuz it seems it is not a matter of wuns poynt of vyoo it is a matter of havving wuns hips inside the sirkel wot wil reeseev the raydiayshun!!! so wunse that has ben akkomplishd then the treetment kan kommense!!!

my butt is in the masheen is evrywun happy now???
maybe i wil preetend i am lying on my towel at the beetch!!! oh wayt i hayt the beetch hmm maybe i wil preetend i am lying on my towel in the howse!!!
yes thats it i am lying on my towel in the howse and soon i wil be gitting cookies
aparently i am beeing observd by drones!!!
aparently i am beeing observd by drones!!!
hmm is it just me or ar the powerful elektromagnetik forses starting to stretch my body owt as if i wer a big red dachshund???

now then the pst masheen is kontrolld by sum sort of majikal kard wot tels it wot to do lets tayk a luk at the treetment wot i am gitting chek it owt!!!

this is the pst kontrol senter!!! verry hi tek!!!
albus dumbledore einstein!!!

now as yoo kan see i am gitting the albus dumbledore einstein treetments wot i am pritty shoor hav alreddy mayd me smarter!!! and so this wil no dowt be the bestest most eksawstiv skolarly treetis ever!!! in fakt i am eksawsted alreddy but i wil perseveer just like albus dumbledore einstein did in the fayse of voldemort and spooky akshun at a distanse!!! but i do hav wun kwestchun why is the albus dumbledore einstein treetment beeing beemd at my butt???

soon i wil be a smartass!!! ha ha ha ha ha ha
becuz soon i wil be a smartass!!! ha ha ha ha ha ha

so ennyway as i preevyusly menshund wunse wun is pozishund in the masheen and the masheen is running wun must sit their for a wile!!! for thirty minnits in fakt wich is like two hunnerd and ten minnits in dog minnits!!! oh my gosh how am i going to stretch this post owt for three and a haff owrs??? oh i no heer lets tayk another luk at the masheen!!!

not for hyooman yoose hay hmm why ar mama and dada yoozing it on me then???
not for hyooman yoose hay hmm why ar mama and dada yoozing it on me then???
this is sum kind of other langwidj!!! i think it is posibly u2 speek!!! achtung baby!!!
this is sum kind of other langwidj!!! i think it is posibly u2 speek!!! achtung baby!!!
wot??? shok hazzard??? do not ekspoze to moystcher??? perhaps i had better try to stop drooling!!!
wot??? shok hazzard??? do not ekspoze to moystcher??? i had better try to stop drooling!!!

oh ar yoo dun reeding all that stuf alreddy??? but i am stil lying heer for another two dog owrs!!! hay dada why not show them arownd the rum??? hmm wot ar thoze posters over their???

aaaaiiieeee skinnd zombie dogs or sumthing!!! run away!!!
aaaaiiieeee skinnd zombie dogs or sumthing!!! run away!!!
aaaiiieeee needels!!! run away!!!
aaaiiieeee needels!!! run away!!!

oh my gosh lets find sumthing less skarry to luk at then thoze posters!!! maybe sum pikchers of other satisfyed customers!!! sum of them luk like dogs i no i wunder if sum of my frends hav ben heer!!!

wel gud nooz i distrakted yoo long enuf for my therapee to be almost finishd!!! now wen it finishes their is going to be a beep!!! it is going to be verry skarry!!! ar yoo lissening for the beep??? lissen!!! it is lowd and skarry and tarrifying and lowd!!! and i git lots of cookies for heering it i hope yoo do too!!!

did yoo heer it??? yoo herd it didnt yoo??? did yoo git cookies??? becuz i did!!! oh snap!!! now abowt siks minnits or fordytoo dog minnits into the therapee i always start to feel a littel tingel in my bakside wot i am pritty shoor is my butt gitting smarter (see abuv!!!) and so after gitting owt of the masheen my butt has to do sumthing to ekspend the stord up smartness enerdjee and beeing as i am a vizsla dog yoo no wot my butt likes to do!!!

and so after dischardjing the eksess butt enerdjee wot has ben imparted by the einstein masheen it is time to eksit the fasilitee and reetern home!!! withowt stopping at the sandy eggo kownty fare i may add becuz if we lernt wun thing frum the faymus dokyoomentry the lost boys it is that fares neer the oshun in kalifornya ar krawling with vampires and i am not the vampire hunter arownd heer!!!

see it is a gud thing i got thoze smartness treetments for my butt or i mite hav fallin for the enticements of smelly fuds frum the venders at the fare!!! but i did not!!! and now we hav reechd the final faze of the pst treetment the part ware we git in the kar and go home!!! i am shoor owr kar is arownd heer sumware!!!

this luks like mamas kar over heer
this luks like owr kar over heer
hay mama why ar yoo not letting me go to yore kar???
hay mama why ar yoo not letting me go to owr kar???

oh my mistayk that is not owr kar!!! my eyes had not yet adjusted to the lite owtside so i faild to notiss that the kar wuz not old enuf dirty enuf or cheep enuf or dingd up enuf to be owr kar!!! altho it is the rite kolor!!!

this is owr kar not that other wun!!!

and their yoo hav it a skolarly treetis on pst treetments!!! now yoo no almost as mutch as me altho not kwite on akkownt of i hav gottin the albus dumbledore einstein treetment and so i am now sooper wikkid smart!!! at this poynt the treetments ar finishd and now beegins the siks week peeryud of no jumping and no futbol moovs wile my boddy trize to reegrow kartiladj and my smart butt tries to solv string theery!!! or sumthing!!!

for a munth and a haff i am not allowd to bend it like beckham!!! i am not eeven allowd to bend it like mrs beckham!!!
for a munth and a haff i am not allowd to bend it like beckham!!! hooever beckham is!!!

i am hoping after the siks week peeryud i wil wunse agin be aybel to jump onto the bed and into the kar withowt needing to klamber or be lifted but we wil see!!! heer is hoping i do not hav handels in my fyootcher but if i do at leest i no they wer wunse worn by the best alpha sister dog ever!!! ok bye

16 thoughts on “a skolarly treetis on pst!!!

  1. Dennis that machine looks interesting… although I bet it can read your minds… so to pretend to be on the beach is a good idea… :O) we hope that the machine can do the trick in the the next 6 weeks… our paws are crossed!!!


  2. GAH, Dennis. You kill me! That was a great tour of the pst center. Apparently, becoming a smart ass is no easy task, so I am glad to see you are putting your best effort into it.

    Love and licks,


  3. Hope the “magic space tube” ride is a successful & you are back in orbit again. Vegas took her space tube ride & it was beneficial.


  4. We didn’t think it was possible for you to get any smarter, Dennis, but if those PST treatments do the trick, then we are thrilled for you!!! You are so good to lie inside that scary machine for so long – good boy Dennis!!!

    Woos – Ciara and Lightning


  5. Hi Dennis! You did a great job staying still in that machine! I don’t think I could have done as well. Hoping all that special treatment pays off for you and has the desired good effects.

    Take care,


  6. We are crossing our paws this pst therapy is just the ticket to make you feel better,. WOW, becoming a smart ass is just a great side benefit of the therapy!!
    Dory, Jakey, Arty & Bilbo


  7. Thunderburp? Interesting. We use it too but we’ve never heard it burp yet Do you suppose we got the burpless program?

    Keep up the treatments, Dennis. Hope they are helping.


  8. The blue and white sticker makes it sound like someone sneezed on the machine… Just saying… So, you are getting your butt irradiated? Cool. Thunderburps and thunderfarts, we think! Heehee! And if nothing else, you’ll be a smart ass! Oh, wait. Mom says we probably aren’t the first ones to make that joke. Oh well. We still find it funny!

    *kissey face*
    -Fiona and Abby the HIppobottomus


  9. We did hear the beep. It is a very scary noise and you are very brave to lie so still. Of course the biscuits help!!! My word, those zombie dogs are a worry, good thing those other happy dog pictures are there. Gilly and Hedy hope all the beeping and biscuits make you feel well really soon: they send wiggly waggly tails and woofs!!!


  10. What a cool machine. Mazie hurt her back this month and started acupuncture like you did and Mom was very brave since she knew you had done it and it helped Mazie a lot! We are so glad that we had seen you having it so that Mom could research it here and have it done on Mazie. Thanks Dennis!


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