Gargamel: “As you are aware, Dennis, the path to electoral success is narrow, and victory is nearly as unlikely as winning a land war in Asia.”
Dennis: “Oh for sure! Um, what does ‘electoral’ mean, exactly?”
Gargamel: “The mouse told me you might ask that. I’ve prepared this presentation to help explain the process to you.”
Producer Smurf: “You don’t smurf me with that ‘land war in Asia’ stuff, Gargamel! You’re just quoting Vizzini!”
Producer Smurf (sotto voce to Opossum): “You’ll protect me when his cat smurfs up, right, vice-president vermin?”
Opossum: “HISSS! Nasty smurf! Stop calling me ‘vermin’! And get off my head!”
Gargamel: “As you can see, the election begins with a hopeful idyll, in a mushroom village out in the woods. We call this the ‘New Hampshire Primary’.”
Producer Smurf: “Ahhhh! There’s the cat! Stoner dog! Bark at Azrael and smurf him away!”
Spicoli: “Dude. Wag more, bark less. Besides, I don’t see any cat.”
Opossum (thinking): “HISSS! I swear this table is haunted. It always shows that man’s reflection.”
Gargamel: “Next it moves on to a flat prairie with a backdrop of distant mountains. Yet the energy meeter remains high. We call this the ‘Iowa Caucus’.”
Producer Smurf: “Ahhhhhh! Now Azrael is smurfing under the table! Dog! Smurf something! Earn your campaign pay!”
Spicoli: “Dude, what is this campaign pay of which you speak? And I still don’t see a cat.”
Pennywise’s Reflection: “We all meet down here. That’s all we do. Meetings. Meetings. Mettings. Meetings. Meetings. Meetings.”
Opossum: “HISSS! Nasty evil clown reflection! I don’t want to go to your meetings!”
Producer Smurf: “I’m telling you, Azrael is under the table and is smurfing over here to smurf me!”
Spicoli: “Dude, I’m not sure who sounds more paranoid, you or the opossum.”
Mouse: “The opossum.”
Gargamel: “But as the season progresses things start to become grim. The landscape darkens in the distance. Enemies appear.”
Gargamel: “Soon it seems as if you are trapped in an interminable election dungeon, beset from all sides by smears and mud-slinging, wondering if it will ever end.”
Pennywise’s Reflection: “… and we meet and meet and meet and …”
Producer Smurf: “AHHHHH! You must see the cat now! He’s smurfing up your face!”
Producer Smurf: “AHHH! Cat! Cat! Smurf away! Caaaattt!”
Opossum: “AHHH! Clown! Clown! Run away! Cloowwwnn!”
Gargamel: “Until finally you get to the end and, mmmm! Come to Gargamel, you delicious smurf! Um, I mean, there’s a giant skull and everyone dies. The end.”
Mr. Nibbles: “Mr. Vizzini, it seems to me that your ‘presentation’ was just a play-through of a smurf video game.”
Gargamel: “Nonsense! Next, I will demonstrate how Dennis will have to deal with Congress after he has been elected …”
Mouse: “That went even better than I hoped it would.”
Spicoli: “Dude, where did you find these guys?”
Mouse: “Patches and his cat live in Humboldt County. They think it’s still 1983 so they work cheap.”
Spicoli: “And the evil clown?”
Mouse: “What evil clown?”
10 thoughts on “Power Points”
Mr. Gargamel reminds me of someone :o)
Mom says she has been to meeting like this…..
Love and licks,
That meeting is bad, but normal among peeps.
Maybe y’all need to check with the Pointer Sisters!
We finally understand the electoral process. Thanks for the civics lesson,
Are you sure you want to be elected, Dennis?
This makes pawfect sense. You should go on tour so the hoomans can understand!
Murphy & Stanley
*shudder* I do not like clowns. Runnnnnn Dennis!!!!
OMD…PATCHES LIVES NEAR US???? Mama says she thinks he may have moved to the sewers under Arcata….after his grow house was condemned.
…but that’s another story 😉
Dory, Jakey, Arty & Bilbo
PAWer Points FUR sure!