Month: October 2016

Die Hard With Opossum

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Norman #1: “I disabled the wi-fi Norman.”
Norman #2:”Good work, Norman.”
Ron Burgundy: “This situation has gotten very, very serious.”
Producer Smurf: “No smurfing, really?”
Ron Burgundy: “Yes. I can’t post to Instagram or Twitter or live-stream to Facebook.”
Mouse: “Say, who’s the new ninja hedgehog?”
Ninja Hedgehog Commander: “That’s Norman. He has a cannon on his head.”
Mouse: “Really? Are you sure he didn’t just get his face stuck in a toilet paper roll?”
Ninja Hedgehog Commander: “Silence!”
Opossum (thinking from inside air shaft): “HISSS! Come to the coast, there’ll be a debate, we’ll have a few laughs …”

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The World Stage

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Russian Hacker: “Lord Putin, as you commanded, we have conducted a massive DDoS strike against the American internet, yet news of the dog’s faux paw continues to spread.”
Vladimir Putin: “I want that dog in the White House. Stage an attack to generate sympathy for him.”
Russian Hacker: “As you command, Lord Putin. By the way, did you see what we did there? ‘Faux paw’? Are we not so very clever?”
Vladimir Putin: “Yes. You are hilarious. Now if you will excuse me, I am about to crack some eggs so that my short order cook can make me an omelet.”

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(Somewhat) Wordless Wednesday: Magic Carpet Ride

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Dada’s note: Dennis’s chest X-rays came back inconclusive, with “questionable nodular opacity in the ventral thorax” and mild heart enlargement,while the ultrasound showed evidence of a chordae tendineae rupture.  So basically, we still don’t really know exactly why he’s been coughing; it could even be down to seasonal allergies from weeds sprouting after the one or two days when it rained a few weeks ago.  The cardiologist does think that the medication is helping to relieve the pressure on Dennis’s heart, though.  His next recheck will be in a few months, at which time he may be starting on another medication, depending on how things look then.

Clown Hall Debate

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Russian Hacker: “Lord Putin, per your instructions, we have modified the instant poll software for the American Presidential debate.”
Vladimir Putin: “Excellent. Now leave me alone with my Precious for a bit. I just fished it out of the lava pool into which some fool dropped it.”

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The Great Debate Begins

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Opossum: “HISSS! Nasty Presidential Debate Committee can’t even fulfill a simple request for a bowl of mealworms in the green room! I kill them. I kill them all!”
Dennis: “Why do they call it the green room, anyway? It’s not green. It’s more of a taupe.”
Producer Smurf: “Dennis! Let’s get a smurf on! It’s time for the debate!”
Mr. Nibbles: “You’ve got this, Mr. Dennis! Just be your lovable furry self!”
Mouse: “Dennis, it’s not too late to withdraw from the debate and go home and take a nap.”
Spicoli: <noisily drinking from toilet>

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a breef updayt on my hart and stuf!!!

hello nice reederz its dennis the vizsla dog hay thank yoo all for yore tail wags and purrs and sutch!!! my kardiak reechek went wel the vetnameez persun sed that their is less of a thrill in my mermer now yoozhually a thrill is a gud thing rite??? but aparently not with a hart mermer!!! so they think that meens the medikayshuns ar helping releev the preshoor in my hart frum the mermer becuz nobuddy wants to be under preshoor eksept maybe the faymus minstrels queen and david bowie!!! ennyway to figger owt wot is up with my koffing they tuk sum chest xrays wot did show my hart is sumwot enlardjed and my lungs are sumwot fuzzy and they told my mama that it is not unyoozhual to see fuzzy lungs on an older dog wel duh of korse we ar fuzzy we ar dogs!!! ennyway we ar stil wayting for the ofishal reeport frum the persun wot reeds the xrays to find owt wot eksaktly it all meens but so far the nooz is pritty gud!!! thank yoo all agin for yore wel wishes and purrs and tail wags!!! as yoo kan see i am resting komfortably and dreeming of my old pack and konserving my enerdjeez for the big debayt this weekend!!! ok bye

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bed sweet bed!!!

Throwback (Tucker, Trixie, and Dennis) Thursday: Saint Francis Bless Us, Every One*

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The Great Debate (Prep)

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Producer Smurf: “All right, pretend candidates! I am now going to smurf you a selection of questions chosen from those smurfed by the public to the web site presidentialopenquestions.com. Is everybody ready?”
Dennis: “Why does my mic say ‘Fisher-Price’ on it?”
Paula: “I’ll take ‘Potpourri’ for $1000, Alex.”
Simon: “Paula, that is not Alex Trebek, and this is not ‘Jeopardy’.”
Paula: “Are you sure this isn’t ‘Jeopardy’? Have you seen who’s running for President?”
Simon: “Fair enough. But for the love of all that’s holy, please, start at the top of the category and work your way down.”

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