A Heffalump’s Faithful Like Zero Percent


Spicoli: “Dude, why are you still carrying that fake spider around? I thought you were afraid of it.”
Dennis: “Well I was, but then I realized that I haven’t been attacked by any heffalumps while I’ve had it, so I think it’s keeping the heffalumps away.”
Spicoli: “That’s funny, I don’t remember you having a problem with being attacked by heffalumps before Vermin dropped the spider on your head.”
Dennis: “Well I wasn’t. But I could have.”


Spicoli: “I can think of another reason why you haven’t been attacked by heffalumps since you got the spider, dude.”
Dennis: “What’s that?”
Spicoli: “They don’t exist.”
Dennis: “Ha ha ha! Yeah, that’s what they said about the Rodents of Unusual Size, too!”


Ninja Hedgehog #1: “Nobody move! This is a ninja hedgehog raid!”
Ninja Hedgehog #2: “Hand over the spider and you won’t get hurt!”
Ninja Hedgehog Commander: “Mwa-ha-ha!”
Dennis: “Aaaaiiieee! Heffalumps! This spider doesn’t work at all!”
Spicoli: “Dude, those aren’t heffalumps.”
Dennis: “Aaaaiiieee! Rodents of Unusual Size!”
Spicoli: “Dude, they’re not ROUSes either. They’re ninja hedgehogs. They attack you all the time and they announce what they are literally every time they show up.”


Dennis: “Mooommmm! Ninja Hedgehogs!  Treat!”
Spicoli: “Dude, does your mom know she keeps giving treats to an opossum?”
Ninja Hedgehog #1: “How does it taste, Norman?”
Ninja Hedgehog #2: “It’s a little rubbery, Norman. We’ll have to soften it up in the balsamic vinegar mealworm vat.”

But Suddenly …


Ninja Hedgehog #1: “AAAAIIIIEEE!”


Ninja Hedgehog #2: “Medic!”
Ninja Hedgehog Commander: “Norman and Norman have failed, boys. Go rescue them and bring back that tin dog. We’ll eat like kings tonight!”
Ninja Hedgehog #3: “Do we eat tin dogs, Norman?”
Ninja Hedgehog #4: “I guess they can’t be any worse than hot dogs, Norman.”
Spicoli: “Yo, tin dog! Nice zoomies, dude! What put the spring in your step?”
K9: “The Doctor gave me WD-40 and now I’m feeling very sporty!”
Spicoli: “Whoa, sounds like the Doctor’s got the good stuff!”
Mouse: “Dennis, the Doctor would like to see you and your treat machine down in the secret lab.”
Dennis: “We have a secret lab?”
Mouse: “Ummm … No.”

17 thoughts on “A Heffalump’s Faithful Like Zero Percent

  1. Hy Denniz… Itz US… F. & E. The Dachshunds…. NOW we are scared of Spiders AND heffalumps… Dennis we wonder HOW you ever get a decent night’s Sleep??? We have Night Squirrels after reading your posts… SHIVER…
    OKAY… BYE.


  2. Ummmmm…Dennis, just say no to going to see the Doctor, ok?? Things could get real wonky, real fast!
    Dory, Jakey, Arty & Bilbo


  3. A fake spider?! OMP – mom would be hanging off of the chandelier here – snorts with piggy laughter. Then again, that might be a hilarious picture for sure. XOXO – Bacon
    P.S. Don’t tell her I say that okay pal.


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