A Heffalump’s Faithful Like Zero Percent

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Spicoli: “Dude, why are you still carrying that fake spider around? I thought you were afraid of it.”
Dennis: “Well I was, but then I realized that I haven’t been attacked by any heffalumps while I’ve had it, so I think it’s keeping the heffalumps away.”
Spicoli: “That’s funny, I don’t remember you having a problem with being attacked by heffalumps before Vermin dropped the spider on your head.”
Dennis: “Well I wasn’t. But I could have.”

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Spicoli: “I can think of another reason why you haven’t been attacked by heffalumps since you got the spider, dude.”
Dennis: “What’s that?”
Spicoli: “They don’t exist.”
Dennis: “Ha ha ha! Yeah, that’s what they said about the Rodents of Unusual Size, too!”

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Ninja Hedgehog #1: “Nobody move! This is a ninja hedgehog raid!”
Ninja Hedgehog #2: “Hand over the spider and you won’t get hurt!”
Ninja Hedgehog Commander: “Mwa-ha-ha!”
Dennis: “Aaaaiiieee! Heffalumps! This spider doesn’t work at all!”
Spicoli: “Dude, those aren’t heffalumps.”
Dennis: “Aaaaiiieee! Rodents of Unusual Size!”
Spicoli: “Dude, they’re not ROUSes either. They’re ninja hedgehogs. They attack you all the time and they announce what they are literally every time they show up.”

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Dennis: “Mooommmm! Ninja Hedgehogs!  Treat!”
Spicoli: “Dude, does your mom know she keeps giving treats to an opossum?”
Ninja Hedgehog #1: “How does it taste, Norman?”
Ninja Hedgehog #2: “It’s a little rubbery, Norman. We’ll have to soften it up in the balsamic vinegar mealworm vat.”

But Suddenly …

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Ninja Hedgehog #1: “AAAAIIIIEEE!”

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Ninja Hedgehog #2: “Medic!”
Ninja Hedgehog Commander: “Norman and Norman have failed, boys. Go rescue them and bring back that tin dog. We’ll eat like kings tonight!”
Ninja Hedgehog #3: “Do we eat tin dogs, Norman?”
Ninja Hedgehog #4: “I guess they can’t be any worse than hot dogs, Norman.”
Spicoli: “Yo, tin dog! Nice zoomies, dude! What put the spring in your step?”
K9: “The Doctor gave me WD-40 and now I’m feeling very sporty!”
Spicoli: “Whoa, sounds like the Doctor’s got the good stuff!”
Mouse: “Dennis, the Doctor would like to see you and your treat machine down in the secret lab.”
Dennis: “We have a secret lab?”
Mouse: “Ummm … No.”

17 thoughts on “A Heffalump’s Faithful Like Zero Percent

  1. Frankie and Ernie says:

    Hy Denniz… Itz US… F. & E. The Dachshunds…. NOW we are scared of Spiders AND heffalumps… Dennis we wonder HOW you ever get a decent night’s Sleep??? We have Night Squirrels after reading your posts… SHIVER…
    OKAY… BYE.

    Like

  2. dorysbackyard says:

    Ummmmm…Dennis, just say no to going to see the Doctor, ok?? Things could get real wonky, real fast!
    Smileys!
    Dory, Jakey, Arty & Bilbo

    Like

  3. A fake spider?! OMP – mom would be hanging off of the chandelier here – snorts with piggy laughter. Then again, that might be a hilarious picture for sure. XOXO – Bacon
    P.S. Don’t tell her I say that okay pal.

    Like

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