WD-40oz To Freedom


K9: “Doctor, Dennis is here with the device you wanted to examine.”
Ninth Doctor: “Thank you, K9. Good dog.”
Dennis: “Aaaaaiiiiieee! Loud! Loud! Lou―hey, is that food?”


Ninth Doctor: “Hmm …”
Spicoli: “WD-40!”
Dennis: “Oh, it’s plastic food. No wonder Tucker never found it.”
Mr. Nibbles: “Friend Mouse says Trouble’s old lab is hermetically sealed to keep you dogs from sniffing it out.”
Dennis: “It doesn’t matter how many hermits Trouble sealed up in here. If this were real food, Tucker would have smelled it.”

Soon …


Ninth Doctor: “Tell me, Dennis, what do you think this device is?”
Dennis: “It’s a magical Mama-calling treat machine.”
Ninth Doctor: “And where did you get this device?”
Dennis: “It was a gift from Santa.”
Ninth Doctor: “And does Santa normally give you gifts?”
Dennis: “Umm, not usually, no …”


Ninth Doctor: “Shall I tell you what this device is actually doing, Dennis?”
Dennis: “Do you have to?”
Ninth Doctor: “Yes, I’m afraid I do. This device is routing your calls through the North Pole, where they are being rebroadcast on some sort of local media network and watched by elves.”
Spicoli (sniffing can of WD-40):  “What the …?”


Dennis: “What?! My misadventures are being exploited for the amusement of others without my knowledge? Who would do such a thing?!?!”
Mouse: “Your Dada leaps to mind …”
Ninth Doctor: “I should add that the elves are being charged a subscription fee of one BitCoin per year.”
Mr. Nibbles: “One BitCoin doesn’t sound like very much.”
K9: “The current exchange rate is $923.75 per BitCoin.”
Mr. Nibbles: “I stand corrected!”
Spicoli: <reading label of WD-40>


Ninth Doctor: “Never fear, Dennis. I have deactivated this gadget with my sonic screwdriver, and the signal I sent will have bricked any elf devices that were receiving the stream. Whoever the culprit is, they will be on the receiving end of any number of angry support calls and demands for refunds.”
Spicoli: “Dude, this is just some kind of oil-based machine lubricant.”
K9: “Of course. What else did you think it would be?”

Soon …


Producer 1970s Pimp Smurf: “No refunds! I already smurfed your BitCoins on this smurfy new outfit!”


15 thoughts on “WD-40oz To Freedom

  1. Dennis dear, I managed to shoot your comment of our house straight to the universe, so I answer here. We live in a forest, and we have never seen a bear, a wolf or Bigfoot. We have seen snakes, birds, mouses, squirrels, moose, raindeers. We were one night at summer, when it is light at night, in a huge svamp waiting to see a bear but no, we saw only huge amount of mosquitos. So don’t worry, we are safe.
    Have a nice day and bye!


  2. I would not want to be the one making the elves angry. They might have more influence than we think. Plus is plastic food a bad thing? I have eaten some of it on occasion…. *gulp*

    Love and licks,


  3. Oh my…our Mama is rolling on the ground laughing at that Pimped Out 70s Elf, she sure does look silly.
    Dory, Arty, Jakey and Bilbo


  4. We predict that your little gadget you have there,Dennis, will replace Elf on a Shelf next year – we need to warn all the little munchkins of the dangers of this thing.

    Woos – Lightning and Misty


  5. Hello Dennis… WD-40… now THAT is some stuffs that we CAN understand. Our Mom uses WE-40 on 87 bazillion thingys around this house. We have gone Nose Blind to the smell of it. Just sayin.


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