Observed Around The House

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Mouse: “Dennis, why do you have your mama’s laptop?”
Dennis: “Well since we’ve had a lot of extra expenses lately with my surgery and my heart and stuff, I thought I’d try to help out by earning some green papers again.”
Mouse: “What do you mean, ‘again’?”

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Dennis: “I’ve used the Internet to make money lots of times. Don’t you remember when I was selling Viagra online?”
Mouse: “Oh, yes, I remember that. You didn’t make any money selling Viagra online. You all ended up getting taken hostage by a crazed Muppet who was involved in a jelly bean deal gone bad.”
Dennis: “Okay, sure, maybe there was a little bit of a hostage situation. But things like that happen to dogs all the time.”
Mouse: “They really don’t, Dennis.”

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Mr. Nibbles: “Now, friend mouse, I’m sure Dennis has learned from his past mistakes and is exercising much better judgment this time around.”
Mouse (thinking):  “Guinea pigs are such optimists.”
Dennis: “Thanks, Mr. Nibbles! I’m glad somebody has confidence in me!”
Mr. Nibbles: “You’re welcome, Dennis! So what sort of opportunity are you looking at, anyway?”
Dennis: “I’m fixing a $400,000 wire transfer into Mama’s account that has been suspended due to errors in her information.”

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Completely legitimate business email

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Mouse: “To ‘Recipients’? ‘Programmed on our wire transfer diskette’?  Come on, Dennis!”
Mr. Nibbles: “Dennis, didn’t Trixie leave you some guidelines about not responding to emails like that?”
Dennis: “Yes, but I can tell this one is legitimate because of all the exclamation points. The more exclamation points there are, the more it’s serious business. Plus I already hired somebody to help me out with getting the money.”

Momentarily …

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Vermin: “HISSS! Here I am, Dennis, ready to help you collect your $400,000! If you want a bagman, hire a marsupial, I always say! Our bags are built in!”
Mouse: “What do you mean, ‘Hire a marsupial, our bags are built in’? Did you just admit you aren’t a cat?”
Vermin: “HISSS! Nasty mouse! I am a cat! You’re just too ignorant to know that cats are marsupials.”
Mouse: “They are not!”
Mr. Nibbles: “But, Mr. Dennis, even if that email were real, it says ‘no third parties’.”
Dennis: “Vermin isn’t a third party. There’s only one of her.”

13 thoughts on “Observed Around The House

  1. dorysbackyard says:

    We think this is a great idea Dennis…but for some reason, Dory is shaking her head and muttering something about how you should probably just delete the email!

    We say go for it…what’s the worst that could happen?!
    Smileys!
    Arty and Jakey

    Like

  2. Mew mew mew Denniss mee furned mee finkss mee smellss a stinky rat!!! an mee nt meen thee Possum!!!!
    Bee carefull ok???
    Bee seenin you! (hopefuleel not inn jail!)
    Siddhartha Henry =^,.^=

    Like

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