Mouse: “Dennis, why do you have your mama’s laptop?”
Dennis: “Well since we’ve had a lot of extra expenses lately with my surgery and my heart and stuff, I thought I’d try to help out by earning some green papers again.”
Mouse: “What do you mean, ‘again’?”

Dennis: “I’ve used the Internet to make money lots of times. Don’t you remember when I was selling Viagra online?”
Mouse: “Oh, yes, I remember that. You didn’t make any money selling Viagra online. You all ended up getting taken hostage by a crazed Muppet who was involved in a jelly bean deal gone bad.”
Dennis: “Okay, sure, maybe there was a little bit of a hostage situation. But things like that happen to dogs all the time.”
Mouse: “They really don’t, Dennis.”

Mr. Nibbles: “Now, friend mouse, I’m sure Dennis has learned from his past mistakes and is exercising much better judgment this time around.”
Mouse (thinking):  “Guinea pigs are such optimists.”
Dennis: “Thanks, Mr. Nibbles! I’m glad somebody has confidence in me!”
Mr. Nibbles: “You’re welcome, Dennis! So what sort of opportunity are you looking at, anyway?”
Dennis: “I’m fixing a $400,000 wire transfer into Mama’s account that has been suspended due to errors in her information.”

Mouse: “To ‘Recipients’? ‘Programmed on our wire transfer diskette’?  Come on, Dennis!”
Mr. Nibbles: “Dennis, didn’t Trixie leave you some guidelines about not responding to emails like that?”
Dennis: “Yes, but I can tell this one is legitimate because of all the exclamation points. The more exclamation points there are, the more it’s serious business. Plus I already hired somebody to help me out with getting the money.”

Momentarily …

Vermin: “HISSS! Here I am, Dennis, ready to help you collect your $400,000! If you want a bagman, hire a marsupial, I always say! Our bags are built in!”
Mouse: “What do you mean, ‘Hire a marsupial, our bags are built in’? Did you just admit you aren’t a cat?”
Vermin: “HISSS! Nasty mouse! I am a cat! You’re just too ignorant to know that cats are marsupials.”
Mouse: “They are not!”
Mr. Nibbles: “But, Mr. Dennis, even if that email were real, it says ‘no third parties’.”
Dennis: “Vermin isn’t a third party. There’s only one of her.”